There have been a number of things causing me huge anxiety since my since my husband left me four weeks ago.
I faced into one of these fears today. I was oddly dreading my first trip to the supermarket as a separated person. You would think that there would be more pressing things to worry about, but the prospect of walking around that supermarket with a sad little basket for one full of ready meals made me want to cry.
Needs must today, I was out of food. So I went to my local Morrisons and it was not too bad. First strategy, fill a trolley with nice things for me, magazines, candles and yes the odd ready meal too. I even found myself gazing at the cheese counter for a while until I remembered that it was only my husband who ever ate chedddar. It takes some getting used to being on your own.
As I left the supermarket, there were three of us clearly shopping for one so I was not alone in this. In a way it felt oddly liberating to just go in there and buy what I fancied for once without needing to think about anyone else apart from my cats of course!
One fear confronted and dealt with. I did not feel like a saddo as the supermarket had loads of people shopping for one and secondly I have promised myself that the ready meals won't be forever either. I will get back into my cooking which I love to do when I am feeling a little stronger...
So this is for all of you who like me are having to face into different situations every day and get used to being alone. Sometimes the little changes might not be as bad as you think....
I know just how you feel but I love cooking so I continue to make large pots of casseroles and soups and just portion up and freeze away for another day.
I have a lot of one pot/tray meals too like roasted veg with a pork chop or some chicken thrown it. All cooks together and only one tray to wash up. Stir frys are a single persons best friend too as they are fast and again, not much washing up generated. I have never before bought bagged stirfry mix or ready prepared salad but it just isn't practical to buy all the components as they just go off. I keep bread in the freezer and just take out daily what I need. I still buy some things to put by for when the children visit which is nice and seems 'normal'.
I did get caught out the other day when I was looking at some crockery and I saw a big salad bowl like the one I had and I could feel my eyes filling up and the tears rolling down my cheeks as I realised that I hadn't yet used it as it is too big just for me.
This evening I did a shop just for me, I have never done this before but I actually enjoyed choosing a magazine, like you and some nice things I don't usually have. They don't have to be expensive either. When I got to the check out I felt a bit sad to see an elderly gentleman with his little basket for one.................
I just wish I didn't keep buying so many toilet rolls!
i can really relate to this,my ex did our food shopping online,he decided what we had and how much to spend even what the kids had how many nappies to buy etc,so my first shop was quite daunting and i had no idea what to buy at first but now i love it its a little bit of independance for me and my girls,and when it gets delivered they dive into the bags all excited bcoz they know its going to be something they actually like:)
well done. especially well done for realising the necessity to treat yourself with little things as reward. I make myself busy on sat mornings cooking something for week ahead when i get v tired. i no lover of cooking but it uses up brains (as in thinking -not in the stew!), hands and time. stay strong and if you do throw a wobbly at any point it is part of the process of healing, not a weakness. very best wishes