The wife and I sat down tonight after months of arguing and agreed we should split up.
We are trying to think of a way to do it that will be fair for both.
We have a 6 year old who we want to be as less affected as possible.
I earn £27K a year and she works at the same place part time earning about £5k a year.
We have a joint mortgage owing about £65,000, and with 30,000 in loans / debt, - the house is worth £170,000.
She wont agree to sell the house pay off the debts and split the money, as she doesnt want to 'waste her equity on rent'.
She wants to stay in the home with our son, but cant afford obviously to buy me out.
Anyone have any help or advice please?
It sounds like you have already agreed that you son will stay with his mum. You will need to seriously consider that his welfare will require you to ley your wife stay in the FH using something called a Mesher order. This means your share stays in the home until your son reaches 18 or your wife lives with someone else.
I agree with SummerSum, please consider your child's welfare in all of this, that is what is important:) My situation is similar except mortgage is in extb name and as i was advised by sol. stay in family home and wait to get that sorted, I did and now as a result my extb has stopped paying it and it looks like the house is gonna be repossessed! My son is petrified because he is gonna have to leave his home/security right when he is starting secondary school in sept. I just wish my extb would realise what pain he's causing and want to sit down and come to a agreement in order to put our son first! My advice to you would be to try and keep things amicable and work out a financially able way to help to keep your son and extb with a roof over their heads, maybe you could agree to split mortgage in some way as well as help financially for your child, that would at least top up her earnings and help her to cover her bills if she has any, and also she would be entitled to benefits eg. WTC/CTC. Please whatever you do don't refuse to help as often in these situations the significantly low earner ends up having to claim Income Support which entails the CSA getting involved and that can sometimes make things worse in the long run. It sounds to me like you are willing to make it as amicable as you both can, try to keep it that way. Good Luck!
Hello i left my wife a year ago she kept the house and everything else so as not to affect the kids in my case they are stepkids (3) and i see them every other day think very carefully before you leave you have a son and life can become a liveing nightmare i know im liveing it.
Try to remeber why you fell in love and if there is a chance to make things work do it liveing alone without you family will draining emotionally and financialy its right that your wife whats to stay at home and try and create a safe atmosphere for your son if you do leave the world as he knows it will change forever, keep talking to your wife if you do leave and dont allow solicitors to start a war betwean the two of you work out if you can still pay the morgage and rent the court if it goes that far will rule in the childs favour this often ends in financial ruin for the farther the cab can help to they can also restrucure loans you can also ask for a morgage holiday be carfull with your bank one sniff of divorce and you may find your cards dont work and your credit card limit reduced above all dont do what i did take time keep talking to the other half i hopr things go well for you both dukey
many suggestions there, but still dont know the best way to resolve this.
Maybe i should pay something towards the mortgage, and she pay some of it.....however she doesnt earn a lot.
If i leave the house cant she just say ive walked out and be entitled to everything?
Whats the best way to do this? She has said she thinks if my name is taken off the mortgage, that the social will pay for the mortgage is this true?
Between you and your wife, you have a house worth £170K and debts (mortgage and loans) worth £95K. So you have equity of £75K.
The thing that is the most important is that your child is housed and looked after.
There are 2 options -
1. sell the house, pay off the debts and split the equity and go your separate ways and each of you rent or buy somewhere else.
2. she stays in the house with your child and you have a charge on the house. This charge is expressed as a percentage of the equity or the gross value of the house. TYhe triggers of this charge to allow you to get your money out are when she either cohabits, remarries or your child gets to 18. then she has to give you your money.
You will have to pay child maintenance (CM) which will be 15% of your net income for one child less a percentage if the child stays with you overnight for a number of nights of the year.
As you earn £27K and she earns £5K you may have to pay her Spousal maintenance (SM) so she can afford to live.
You need (with your wife) to work out her total income including her pay, Child Benefit (CB) and any benefits she gets - tax credits etc. Can she work longer hours so she get more income? Up to 70% of child care costs can be claimed back as part of her benefits.
When you have done this you need to work out her total expenditure and see if there is a short fall or a surplus - its normally a shortfall.
You need to do the same thing with your income and expenditure (when you have moved out) and see what the numbers are.