Hi, I'm desperate for some advice - so here goes: I was divorced from my first husband 10 years ago - v.painfull at the time - he left me pregnant & with 3 children under 6, for someone else. After years of mediation & court, I was awarded maintenance for the children PLUS maintenance for myself for life. (I do work full time as well). Four years ago I got involved with someone else, was upfront about my financial situation, & after time discussed the fact that my court order meant I would lose my personal maintenance if I lived with anyone or re-married. We eventually DID marry in July 2006,& I lost a third of my income at that point. He had his own house, as did I, But in the entire time we were together only gave me money for 2 months. He left me 12 weeks after we got married, and several times after that. He was diagnosed as depressed, and I thought that may have been what caused our problems - but it turned out he was actually an alcoholic. I borrowed money to pay for the wedding, and for him to do his house up to sell it - always being promised that when the house was sold all the debts I was accruing would be paid and he could start paying me some money monthly. I am now working full time & 3 nights a week to try & keep up with bills, and I eventually came to my senses and asked him to leave last September - We had only been married 14 months. He has left me paying £40,000.00 of debts, and lost me £350 per month in maintenance. He still owns his house - it is rented out, and he is renting a flat. I don't know his address. I cannot work any more than I do, and, minor detail - still have four children to look after! I can't believe that having managed to keep it all together for years I'm going to lose everything because of him - he has contributed nothing but anguish to me & the kids throughout this relationship. Mostly, through my own stupidity for doing it - but when you love someone you always hope it will work out don't you?
This is a bit of a long intro - sorry! - but anyone got any ideas? I would be very grateful. x
Hiya KEGW. I cant offer you any sound advice what to do. Mostly its in your hands and you aint stupid you got this far. You got caught out thats all. But stick around. There are plenty on here that is in same boat as you. You are among freinds. Chris