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I feel like such a fake!

  • asurek
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22 Feb 08 #14828 by asurek
Topic started by asurek
I am a 31 year old male. I got married 10 months ago and ever since, we've the worse relationship ever. To be fair, we only lived with each other 6 months prior to that so we might not have the relevant experience.

But I came on here as I needed some advice. I love my wife with all my heart, but for some reason, when we argue, it always turns into the alamo.

Its pathetic. Most of the time its either me over reacting with my poor anger management, or its her that accuses me of doing something I didn't do, which of course leads on to my first reaction.

Are we destined for break up? Like I said, I would do anything to stay together as I love her, but it love really enough?

She is a gorgeous looking girl and recently have got jealous with the way she acts when she's out and about with blokes.

Any advice would be appreciated.

A

  • Elle
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23 Feb 08 #14833 by Elle
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she is gorgeous looking..........she acts when she is out.......wot age is she...how secure are u.......and more...

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23 Feb 08 #14882 by gone1
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Asurek. All is not lost. You could try and get some help with relate or someone like that. Get to the bottom of your issues and find out why you react like you do. I like blokes looking at the person I am with. Makes me feel good. I think thats the right way to be as I am not a jealous person but love jealosy in a women. Weird huh? Yep I am Chris.

  • WizardofWisdom
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25 Feb 08 #14958 by WizardofWisdom
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Hi Asurek

A simple piece of advice I learned from Wayne Dyer. (You can Google him if you don't know who he is).

It's this: When there's conflict ask yourself this question: "Right now, I can be right or I can be kind. Which is better?"

Remember, in any given moment you have a choice as we all do. The next thought you think, deed you do, or words you utter can be designed to make you (both) feel better or something else. It's a simple choice.

Now, of course, you could always say that your lovely wife has those choices too. But she didn't ask the question! If you go down that road, you'll be right back at the Alamo!

If you want to stop two people from playing tennis, you only have to persuade one of them to stop hitting the ball.

And if you aren't willing or don't feel able to be that person, you'll have to start asking yourself what's so good about revisiting the Alamo?

Hope that's not too harsh ...!

TE.

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26 Feb 08 #15093 by Exasperated
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On the other hand if you can't figure out who has the problem and sort it out, you will never cure the problem and will never go away.
I thought my wife would mature and stop going off at the slightest reason, I stayed with her because I loved her and put up with these rants and mood swings loosing whole weekends at times. Sorry to say but years later I am no longer prepared to and we are getting divorced.
Good Luck with your marriage, hope you can sort it, but don't put up with it.

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26 Feb 08 #15099 by Specialdad
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This thread reminds me of something my dad told me after he had been married 50 years and is still married to my mum.

He said "If you cant agree with your wife all the time, everytime and in time then dont bother marrying her"

Thats doesnt mean hes a door mat though, sometimes hes a bit of a rambo. :)

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