I received the letter from X2B solicitors telling me they intended filing a divorce petition against me(UB) shortly. Is there a time limit from this "letter before action" to actually file the Divorce Petition? Or is it open ended.
My solicitor is making contact with his asking that Particulars be agreed beforehand but from what I can gather my X2B has not yet either applied for or received Legal Aid - again this is puzzling my solicitor as she says that his solicitor can advise and issue under the Legal Help Scheme and that is assessed by his solicitor and not anyone else, full Legal Aid is only required at a latter stage. She is writing for clarification on this point too.
Whilst posting here, does anyone know whether the fact that my two children are still dependent on the family home for a roof over their heads will be taken into account? You see, they are both over 18 (21 and 20). Both of them are working, dont earn a great wage and cannot get onto the property ladder because their low wages give them only a minimal mortgage offer, and no houses where we live in that mortgage offer bracket. They cannot even afford to rent. Their wages are extremely low, but at least they are working.
I have always said to them that they have a roof over their heads for as long as they want, unlike X2B who was brought up to think that at 18 children were to be making their own way in life and OUT from their home. He is very fond of telling them both to pack their bags and leave - but I digress here.
The petition is the first 'legal' step. An intention to file is completely open ended. It depends on him or his solicitor completing the forms, submitting them to the court with your marriage certificate and the requisite fees.
If you want to agree matters beforehand, i find that commendable, as this can often cause the most acrimony in the process.
Legal aid is a means-tested loan, perhaps your husband may be borderline on his income eligibility, adn that is holding things up.
Your children's home status would not be a consideration, as they are both over 18 and no longer in full-time education.
Hope it helps. Good luck with the rest of the process. It may be helpful to read the Wikivorce Step-by-step Guide to Divorce. This can be reached through the 'Resources' Menu at the top of the page.
Thanks for your response.
My X2B is self employed which immediately causes problems as to what exactly his earning are - if you know what I mean.
He has planned his strategy over the past 18 months with the equity in the MH being his driving force. As I am the main breadwinner I have paid all bills, groceries, loan secured on home and because I thought his earnings were low and to help him build up his business, I trusted him to use his money from the business to re-invest in it. However, I must have been so stupid, I now realise that he was hiding any "cash" away and using the money to go out and do what he wanted, almost like pocket money. He now stands to gain at least 50% of the MH and I have no doubt that after this money is spent, he will turn up on my doorstep like the bad penny and worm his way back in. I keep in my mind the fact that I cant do anything about what has happened but can certainly do something about my future with my children. I want so much to get things moving along and to get on with my life once again.
I understand that Legal Aid forms are quite complicated to fill in. This is no doubt where the hold up is as he usually gives me any forms he has to complete as he "cant be bothered" - ie why keep a dog and bark yourself eh?? I have instructed my solicitor to issue a Petition on my behalf if she feels at anytime that this would be an appropriate course of action. I havent yet got off the starting block and already things are really zapping my energy. My situation isnt helped by the fact that he refuses to move out of the MH so is there to bully me. He wants us to sort out the division of the MH ourselves, but as he is a classic bully I am afraid that I will agree to something just to shut him up that I dont mean. I feel a little at the end of my tether today and as I say things arent yet off the starting block.
Thanks for letting me get this off my mind, hopefully things will resolve themselves soon. Everyone is so helpful here.
You most definitely need to be looking for a 'Clean Break' on the finances from your husband. That is a binding agreement in the form of a Consent Order that states that once agreed, neither party has any further claim on the other financially. Your solicitor will tell you about this.
As to the money he has squirreled away, well not much you can do about that at this stage. Couple of things spring to mind. One is to get him to admit to some of it and offset that against equity in the house. The other is the threat of shopping him to relevant bodies, if the evidence exists. But you didn't hear that from me.
Don't make a presumption that he will get 50% of the FMH. Try running some figures through the wikivorce calculator:
Thanks for your post, I am trying to cover all areas of attack from him as much as possible. I am almost certain that he has been planning this for about 18 months or so.
To be honest, I am too frightened to run the figures through the wikivorce calculator in case I see that it will be a 30/70 split in his favour. He has also threatened that if I dont play ball and agree to what he wants that he will "take me to the cleaners". I have even had to ask my parents to see their solicitor in order that their Wills are in order so that he cant get his hands on their money.
And all this from a man who still says he loves me ... aint love just wonderful!!!
I do so much want to be proactive and that is why I wondered how long I have to wait for him to sort out his Legal Aid.
Not being able to get him out of the MH is doing my head in. When I stopped cooking for him and told him, he said "Oh being childish are we, going down that route, well I will soon make things awkward for you too" - he frightens me with little threats and innuendos which unfortunately I fall for each time, I suppose he is a classic bully.
All this trouble and woe and I havent yet received the Petition, what on earth will I be like when I do ..... what grieves me is that I have put so much of my hard earned money into the house, making sure all bills are paid and he may stand to get more than a 50% share. He has even told me that he would have not hesitation in getting a chain-saw and literally cutting all furniture in half. See the kind of person I am dealing with????