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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Children divorce guilt

  • mahua
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29 Feb 08 #15368 by mahua
Topic started by mahua
I cannot bear to breathe in the same room as him, have been married 12 years, have two little ones 10 and 6 and for their sake have dragged on so far. Would like to hear from the voices of experience to help thru grief, guilt anger and a whole truck load of other emotions !

  • Angel557
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29 Feb 08 #15369 by Angel557
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Welcome to wiki,

why don't you come into chat plenty of us in there to listen to you.

  • mahua
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29 Feb 08 #15370 by mahua
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Just one response has me in a flood of tears, but I am not as helpless and tearful weakling of a person this makes me sound like.
On the outside life goes on as normal....still do the school run... and run mum's taxi service from one activity to another....
The husband is always busy with phones , emails meetings...putting the bread on out table, clothes on our backs, roof over our head and visas to holidays in our passports !!

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29 Feb 08 #15374 by sexysadie
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You will get through. It's early days yet for you but it will get easier, and you will learn to do all the things he has been doing.

Sadie

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29 Feb 08 #15387 by mahua
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He has moved some money into my account ( which he has complete access to )and I think he is trying to keep me from walking out by throwing ££££ $$$ at the situation....
He is being supportive about me going back to work but within certain "rules" and I can write pages about the alleged support when I was in work a year back and had to leave because "children come first " "Now you are a mother and you've got to live for them "...

" Killing me with kindness...and being the best father and provider in the world "..

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01 Mar 08 #15471 by jack2
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Hi Mahua,

Your situation sound similar to mine. Has your husband started to be the 'perfect" Husband and Father after you had told him you wanted to divorce?

If you look at my posts I have explained that this controlling bully I have been married to for 24 years seems to have 'changed' overnight.

Although I am very cautious about the change, emotionally the decision to go through with the divorce becomes a whole lot harder.

I feel as though he is messing with my head and my nerves are shattered. Do you feel the same?

Jack

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01 Mar 08 #15473 by mahua
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Hi Jack
Yes it does feel that he somehow makes me come around to his way of doing everything..even tho I am an educated adult able to hold my own everywhere else except with him

Now he is planning a holiday to carry on normally saying I am holding on to negative thoughts of breaking down things while he has always been the positive person in the relationship looking to build instead of destroy..this chain of thought shakes my own line of thinking

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