Looking for advice :o)

Hi

This looks like a great forum and resource, just what's required in times of difficulty.

My wife and I are currently separating and I'm very keen for us to come to an amicable settlement and to keep things as reasonable as possible. I’ve tried the Divorce Calculator to try and give me an idea of what we should be considering but we’re in a position where it’s hard to know what our finances are likely to be as my wife is currently coming to the end of maternity leave and is unclear as to what she is going to do about work. Her plan was always to return to work part time so I don’t really see why this situation should change.

We have been married for 3 years and have a 7 month old child. We initially separated 2 months ago but as I had nowhere to live I returned and have been living in the spare room while we have been trying to sort things out with relationship counselling. It’s now quite clear that things are not going to work out so we need to consider our options. My wife gets quite angry and implies she’s going top take me for everything I’ve got during our “conversations”, so I’d like to have a few reasonable solutions which we can discuss with a mediator. I just want to make sure that what I think is reasonable is reasonable!

I would love to be able to just walk away with nothing but it is impossible as she could not afford to keep up all the payments on the family home just as I couldn’t in addition to setting up a new home for myself. As far as I’m concerned there are 3 people to consider including my daughter so I’d be happy with 33% of the equity in our home and then expect to pay maintenance for my daughter. Does this sound reasonable?

Can anyone give me an indication of what my wife would expect in benefits if she were to return to work part time? She earns reasonable money and I would expect her to be able to support herself with her potential earnings and maintenance. She seems to be of the opinion that it’s my responsibility to keep her and my daughter in the family home and pay for everything until she is 18. I think she is disillusioned but she’s not the first person to say this so I am a little concerned! Surely I have the right to a home to allow me to keep my daughter in my life too? I could in no way afford two houses! Oh, she is also claiming half of my pension too which sounds unreasonable to me seeing as she has her own and I’ve been paying in to mine for much longer than we’ve been together.

I must say the relationship counselling has really helped so far so I’m hoping that armed with some real information we can come to a sensible solution for my daughters sake. I’m not sure if it makes any difference but we are splitting because of incompatibilities and no other reasons.

I really would appreciate some advice on what sort of financial solutions I should be looking at.

Thanks in advance.

Get to mediation whike you are still talking it will save you a fortune in solicitors bills and not have the same 'sour' effect that solicitors seem to cause