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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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FDR experiences please!

  • JAYNEY
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01 Mar 08 #15461 by JAYNEY
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panic setting in! have FDR hearing 16th March representing myself. How horrible is it going to be! Have most of my facts & figures but my nerves are shot. Have a fear of authority even though confident I am 'in right'stbx trying to talk me into agreeing amount before we get there but just dont agree with his calculations. Feeling quite intimidated will I have opportunity to appeal if not happy with out come?:dry:

  • loobyloo
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01 Mar 08 #15464 by loobyloo
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Hi jayney

big breath dont panic, you have facts and figures and that is basiclly all its about
You will be locked in negotiatons with his side, all accumulated and requested info gone through and discrepensies discussed, if you cant come to agreement it will go to fh...where then the judge decides
Your judge at fdr (who you will be in front of for approx 20mns) will then advise you to try to settle before fh, he will give directions and authorise any futher requests if reasonable from both sides giving time scales etc
the judge at fdr cannot do fh have to be different judge
Although its very much under the blanket at fdr I do believe the judge knows more than you assume ..imho.
Ihave fh, just moved from end march to end april and honestly the whole court thing is ok dont worry as the law is there to protect you and if your honest you will be ok
Its very commendable that you self rep and lots on here will help you
good luck its my b,day on 17th so will be thinking of you
looby

  • attilladahun
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01 Mar 08 #15472 by attilladahun
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Jayney just remember there are really only 2 real alternatives at an FDR

either a settlement BY CONSENT ie your're happy or

it goes off to a FH...just occasionally an FDR is adjourned if details still wanted and Court still thinks it'll settle

"Feeling quite intimidated will I have opportunity to appeal if not happy with out come?" -Can't happen for the reasons said above

Cheer up:)

  • JAYNEY
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12 Mar 08 #16618 by JAYNEY
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have sent my 'offer' as its 7 days before fdr hearing. I was really angry when I composed it. stbx away for romantic weekend leaving me to manage our business as usual. Had snooped and found love letters, photos and 2 other properties he owns AND a morgage application agreed for £700,000! First I felt sick, then mad, then stupid and then strong. Hope judge sees sense and comes down on my side or at least 50/50. Thanks for kind words.... it does help!

  • Elizabeth
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12 Mar 08 #16633 by Elizabeth
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Hello Jayney,

I see it's not long at all to the FDR, you can't get better advice that from Attilladahun - I wish I had known about this site when I was going through the process.

I know it's difficult but try and keep a level head and emotions separate - as far as possible - many a time I sat at the computer (often late at night) and the keyboard would have been on fire if I had replied to his solicitors what I really wanted to say! I would then take a deep breathe and say to myself "be professional!". I treated it like a business transaction.

I would not worry AT ALL about the FDR - if I knew what I knew now I would have had my beauty sleep! As long as you have been honest about your disclosure - the hearing is short - mine was 30 minutes but it was the "discussions" between the barristers outside the court that took the time. If you cannot see any way of agreement - take a relaxed approach - the judge at the FDR will not make any decisions for either of you - just direct what may need to be done next (further disclosure possibly or statements).

Would be good to know how you got on...

  • JAYNEY
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17 Mar 08 #17089 by JAYNEY
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thanks Elizabeth, My disclosure is complete and honest. I havent seen so much of my stbx as in last 4 days not since we were 'courting'! he keeps asking me to postpone. I think he may have an idea I know more than letting on as he hasnt disclosed properties and credit cards. Just want it over. unfortunatly am working 6 days in joint business hope he buys me out.
will post outcome

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