A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Hello All

  • TR1
  • TR1's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
04 Mar 08 #15719 by TR1
Topic started by TR1
Hi!

I've lurked on here a little but have been too much in denial to really get involved. I've come to realise on all the support and kindness I am missing out on.

My current heartache is that x2b and I were negotiating for an amicable settlement and just to go to sols for paperwork. Then suddenly out of the blue he sends a letter to expect a petition from sol under irrec. diff. He has lied about the date I left, which I am worried will jeopardize the contributions I made, and he is threatening to go against much of what was agreed and basically take me to the cleaners.

Negotiations were difficult but going ok, and I really thought we were getting somewhere. All my money is tied up in his house so I've had terrible hardship the last 18 months, just when I thought there might be some resolution, this.

I am terrified he must have something up his sleeve and that I will walk away with nothing.

How do I prove the things I did which have financial value, but aren't cold hard cash, like doing most of the housework, supporting his second business etc?

Thanks in advance, and sorry for such a long post!

xxx

  • rikki15
  • rikki15's Avatar
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
04 Mar 08 #15720 by rikki15
Reply from rikki15
Hi TR1,
Like you i am fairly new to this but i'd imagine the knowledgable folk on here will need more details from you like...Children and property involved before they can give opinions

xx

  • dukey
  • dukey's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
04 Mar 08 #15732 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Hello im glad you have decided to give us a go, try not to worry you dont need to prove your efforts were of value there are more important considerations if you could post a few details please.

how long were you married

do you have children from the marriage

pension values for H and W

H earnings

W earnings

Value of family home

outstanding morgage

If you have time to answer those it will help us all to help you.

Take care dukey

  • TR1
  • TR1's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
04 Mar 08 #15772 by TR1
Reply from TR1
Hi both,

Thanks for the breakdown, I have no idea what might be relevant for legal purposes,

We were married for two years when I left (together 7 if that counts)

No children

Negligible pension I would have thought

Not sure what H earns now as was made redundant in 2007, now has new job. Probably around £27k

I was earning £22.5K, soon to start a job @ £30k

I think the home is worth around £160k, mortgage outstanding £100K

House is in H's name and in general I contributed less than H to the mortgage, I generally earned less. I had some periods off work due to depressive illness and whilst studying, also owned 2 properties at points before the marriage and invested some lump sums in the property, paid for the wedding (Haha)etc.

Most of my investments were before we were married, so do they count? Do my financial contributions at this time count?

So confused and to be honest I hate thinking it all so much, am wondering whether to just write the whole lot off rather than make myself ill :(

Thanks in advance

  • rikki15
  • rikki15's Avatar
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
05 Mar 08 #15868 by rikki15
Reply from rikki15
Hi TR1,
On the face of it it does,nt look like he can 'take you to the cleaners'
Hopefully you have some written proof of your financial contributions to help your case. Certainly do not write the lot off as you have said.
Its hard we all know but try and keep your emotions in check and be strong, we are all here having been through the same x

A trip to CAB or a solicitor for some professional advice would not be a wasted trip

  • dukey
  • dukey's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
05 Mar 08 #15879 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Hello again TR1

With a short marrige such as yours its quite usual "to leave with what you brought" though you wont get back what you spent on the wedding (sorry) the money used to help buy the house money you spent on improvments ecetera i would ask for if he doesnt agrea then its off to court.

Try not to worry you wont "get taken to the cleaners" the court will consider the input from both of you.

dukey

  • TR1
  • TR1's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
05 Mar 08 #15881 by TR1
Reply from TR1
Thanks both,

I know it sounds silly, but I paid for the wedding /honeymoon on the understanding that this was in lieu of contributing to the mortgage at that time. I also still paid half the bills. Doesn't this count? I feel I've been duped if this is the case!

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11