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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

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can't believe it happened to me

  • chester
  • chester's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
04 Mar 08 #15743 by chester
Topic started by chester
I was quite smug as I thought I had the "perfect"life. Good job, wonderful husband, fab family both sides, lots of hols and freedom as we both wanted no kids.
Bang - he has been cheating for a year!! no longer has feelings, gone to someone he met at work who has a four year old child.
No one can believe when I tell them and I cannot beleive it.
Can't imagine how I will cope on my own we has been together since we were 15, 21 years!
I know I will cope as I have to but I don't want to:(
Think this web site will help.

  • megan
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04 Mar 08 #15745 by megan
Reply from megan
I'm so sorry. The words you use could have been mine.
It will be hard and the first few weeks you will feel numb with shock. It will get better but it's long and slow. Use this web site plus the friends and family you can trust. Be a little carefull with his friends and family. He will have his side of the story even if it is distorted.
Most importantly look after and care for yourself.

  • Ladybelle
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04 Mar 08 #15747 by Ladybelle
Reply from Ladybelle
Just wanted to let you know you are not alone, I feel so sad for you. I went through the same thing last October. Husband announced been having an affair for 9 months, we had been married for 25 years. Had no idea. Hit me like a bullet. Been very tough few months but I am coming through the other side with help from this site which I read daily. Keep talking. ((hugs))

  • scottishlady
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04 Mar 08 #15749 by scottishlady
Reply from scottishlady
It's devastating...... I know.....
but - you WILL come through it....
It may not seem like it right at this moment...... it's bloody hard - nobody will tell you it isn't....
Use all the support that you have - family, friends......
It will take time to come to terms with what has happened..... eventually, you will begin to feel better....
Take all the time that you need.... talk... cry.... do whatever it takes.....
A lot of us have been where you are now, we are living proof that 'time does heal'....

Be kind to yourself


  • crusoe
  • crusoe's Avatar
  • New Member
  • New Member
04 Mar 08 #15769 by crusoe
Reply from crusoe
You will get through it, the important thing to do is to talk as much about it as you can. Tell anyone that will listen to you, this does make it easier. You will get a good life and realise that things are better without him.

  • rikki15
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  • Junior Member
04 Mar 08 #15770 by rikki15
Reply from rikki15
Hi Chester,
Most of us on here know the terrible feelings you are going through. It wont be easy for a while and you will be on a seemingly endless emotional roller coaster but trust me you will get through it.
Chin up and remember it is HIS loss


  • northwestlady
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  • New Member
04 Mar 08 #15774 by northwestlady
Reply from northwestlady
can't believe it after 27 yrs and 3 kids he wants a divorce ,i must of been living on a different planet all this time ..been apart for just over a year now {don't know why i still miss him} but he wants to wait the 2 years for the divorce.

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We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

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Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

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This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

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