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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Divorcing my cheating husband but feel sad

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10 Mar 08 #16416 by cindygirl
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Im sorry Jelly4toes that you've had to go through this too, but yes you're right, maybe we can support each other as we try to move on?

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11 Mar 08 #16448 by townie
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I could do with some support right now.. yesturday I finally told my s2bx that I didn't want him ringing and talking to me everyday,didn't want him comming into the house when he dropped son off, didn't want him being'nice' to me, I felt he was giving me too many mixed messages, and have had enough of being his plaything.I told him either he signs the forms to submit to the sale of our house but either way I will buy or rent and he won't be welcome in my new home,I want minimum contact with him and that is it,and he will no longer have any power over what I do.He didn't like that one bit or the fact that my son had to be pursuaded to go to their house at the weekend.I feel now it is so totally over and done with.I don't want him back, and could never trust him either ever with anything(money or my feelings), so why is it I feel so sad now I have made the final break?I keep telling myself it will get easier I can get over this, but at the moment it just seems like empty words..:(:(

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11 Mar 08 #16458 by Rebecca186
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what you are doing is taking control back of your life and this is now the start of a new beginning for you...you will feel angry resentful and all other emotions that come with it of being hurt and well...you know the rest. I truly sympathise, I am there too difference is my stb ex and I are still living under the same roof and I cant get out and he is flaunting the fact that he is going out meeting all the previous women I had issues with including staying over at one this weekend....at least though then I will have house to myself with children. Presently I have no control as such over where I live, thats in his hands and I do feel now very resentful and the anger is building up again which is a shame as I really thought I had got through that stage but shall take a step back (as advised by a lovely person on this site) take deep breaths and just get on.
good luck.....remember you are in control now...x

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11 Mar 08 #16475 by cindygirl
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Oh Townie you've done exactly what i did yesterday, i feel exactly the same as you right now. My stbx was texting me daily, ringing & asking if he could drop in for a cup of tea every day, he has had another woma n a year & i only just discovered it. Yesterday i told him to stop ringing & texting & to stop coming by my house, to get out my life & continue with his new life away from me. Problem is i miss him already today, but i cant give in, he's messing with my mind telling me daily that he is unhappy with her & her kids & wants us to get back together. Its all lies as i've found out last week that he sleeps at her house every single night, why would he do that if he wanted me? We're all doing the right thing in taking control back of our lives, we have our pride left if nothing else, and i feel the only way to teach them that they lost something special is to move forward, be happy & find someone new. My guess is once we do that they will want us back & come begging, but it will be too late, we will have got used to being without them! Keep doing what you're doing, baby steps forward until it all comes together, as it surely will x

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11 Mar 08 #16485 by townie
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Thanks cindygirl.
Babysteps babysteps we will get there...have just had text from him saying he is texting as I won't answer the phone and talk to him when he phones to talk to our son.. and be 'adult 'like...says he is moving away anyway..then I have checked my e.mails and he has sent me a joke e.mail. Mixed messages or what.I really don't think he understands his place in my life anymore(father of my kids fullstop).I think the only way to go further is to freeze him out completely and maybe it will make him realise just how he has hurt me.it will be All too late now by then of course.He has his life and I have mine.Bad as it is it only has to get better eh?I have to keep telling myself there is a light at the end of the tuunnel.

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11 Mar 08 #16514 by cindygirl
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(((Townie))) My stbx has also text me twice tonight and said i'm being childish by not talking to him anymore, he says he needs me in his life even though he is with her and insists he doesnt love her like me. I know its only a matter of time before i meet someone new and then he will really miss me, but until then i have to stay strong & not be took for a fool anymore, sigh, hope you're getting through too, & everyone else thats suffering here like us.

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12 Mar 08 #16540 by townie
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Thanks cindygirl
I am muddling through.Mys2bx tricked me into answering the phone last night(used a different number to usual),and we spoke.he is not signing the solicitors draft thing that has all the instructions to do with the finances,until he seeks 'legal advice'.i asked when that would be and he said he didn't know he was going to hang it out as when the house sale is sorted out then he will still have to pay me more because the csa have ordered him to. kept moaning about how ill he was and that he shouldn't be working when he feels like this.I am being fair by saying sell the house and get everything finalised one way or the other so that the stress on both of us is less but he doesn't see it that way.I am going to continue to not speak to him unless it is accidental, going to monitor when he calls, so i can work out when he is calling if it is to talk to me or just the kidsor am I going mad?See how he gets me feeling?!
.I am going to continue with the decri absolute, am ringing the solicitor on monday to say so.One way or another it has to be sorted out and I just want to be divorced from him and move on.Really I am trying not to look too far into the future about myself, the thought of being with someone else scares the hell out of me..the last time I dated was 26 years ago,people have so different ways now, and you have to be so careful.I know eventually i will be happy and every day those baby steps towards a future on my own will help me.Thanks for being there everyone.

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Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.


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Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.