A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Divorcing my cheating husband but feel sad

  • jelly4toes
  • jelly4toes's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
13 Mar 08 #16648 by jelly4toes
Reply from jelly4toes
i think were getting there girlies.myphrse to myself when i feel crap is back to basics ,chunk it down .daughter went to see ex on sunday and heard him on the phone saying ilove you with all my heart to the new woman .my 9 yr old came back heartbroken she told me i felt like i had been stabbed thru the heart why when he left over a year ago.i still struggle daily ith feelings of being worth nothing.bankruptcy hearing on tues doesn't help.i go bankrupt he keeps the sportscar that i got a bankloan for.he lives in the 600k house of girlfriend we may end up homeless::huh:how does that work.chunk it down or lose the plot.hugs to all.

  • townie
  • townie's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
13 Mar 08 #16691 by townie
Reply from townie
Oh Jellytoes..I feel for you... well my s2bx has text me today and is trying to negotiate other terms to the sale of the house.It has got to the stage where I really don't care about the money anymore,just want it decided and settled and finished.I am past fighting with him for it.I will come off slightly better than him if the new deal goes ahead so that is ok, I figure I never was in it for the money and so am deciding to let my anger about it all just go over my head, no sense in letting it get to me... she is welcome to him, he will end up back in debt anyway, and I shall probally be ok, I am more financially tuned in than him, and as long as me and the kids are settled somewhere thats all I ask.
Yes my son came home at the weekend and said how SHE has been telling s2bx she loves him... it did hurt but then i thought to myself just let them get on with it, and she can find out just how he treats people he 'loves'! We are worth more than them and can now have self respect and know that we are worth so much more than they were prepared to give us.((((hugs))))we will get there I am sure of it.

  • jelly4toes
  • jelly4toes's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
14 Mar 08 #16744 by jelly4toes
Reply from jelly4toes
i had a scare yesterday a letter arrived at mine addressed to him.his post was redirected 17 mths ago! he is making enquires at an independant boarding school.he is going to try and take daughter away from me and convince the ct that i am not a fit mother and that i am mad,.i am scared he is an exec director in human resources and an expert at lying and conning people.he trained post grad level to lie and manipulate. :evil:

  • Mrs Ingledew
  • Mrs Ingledew's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
14 Mar 08 #16768 by Mrs Ingledew
Reply from Mrs Ingledew
I am further down the line than you.

9 months ago my husband left me for my friend ... he too told me he loved even lavishing me with gifts and cards on our wedding anniversry 3 days before he left!

You will never know why he did what he did and when he looks for a reason it will always be your fault.

I didn't want to divorce him - even found myself telling my solicitor I just wanted to start the ball rolling and see where it took me...

with hindsight he and she did me a favour.

1) I am thinner!!
2) I am no longer worrying that he is cheating or lying to me ... but do have trust issues with a lovely man I am now seeing...
3) My children respect me
4) I know who my real friends are
5) I am not afraid to ask for help
6) I can survive on my own and sometimes I can even soar above my own expectations...

How to remove him ... write a goodbye letter to him - don't send ti just write it and when the pain is less delete it... I did this and only deleted mine lst week. I looked at it and thought no I don't love you, I don't even like you and if I were to meet you knowing the type of man you are I wouldn't want to be at the same dinner party!

I am in counselling and I never saw myself doing that! Try it. A simple technique to move the pictures from your head ... take the picture and it will be vibrant technicolour... turn in black and white... make it smaller bit by bit til it moves over the horizon ... now replace it with a happy picture!

Give yourself time to grieve for your lost dreams, hopes and for the man you loved. He is dead the man there now is not for you - you deserve better. Betrayal and humiliation are the result of his act - he left you didn't.

It will get easier - you won't believe me it will. But there will be black and then grey days... not when you think either little reminders of what used to be. Prepare yourself and if you need to cry or give that primeval scream do.

Take care and pm if you need to - we are all here because we all know how it feels...

big hug x

  • cindygirl
  • cindygirl's Avatar Posted by
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
15 Mar 08 #16890 by cindygirl
Reply from cindygirl
Jelly4toes, you need advice from a solicitor about his means to take your daughter, maybe its a threat to scare you, why did the letter come to your house otherwise? I hope its just a scare anyway, good luck in your battle with him (((hugs)))

Taylr14 Your advice here is great, i'm going to follow it & see if it helps me at all. My stbx wont stop texting me & talking about our future, hes even asked me to go away with him at easter? I dont understand why he wants to do that when he's been with another woman a year....sigh hes really doing my head in at the minute.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.