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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Divorcing my cheating husband but feel sad

  • needhimout
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08 Mar 08 #16149 by needhimout
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Hi loobyloo.... Yes i did know he had been married twice before ! more fool me eh ! i didn't know the real reasons of the splits until i was really in love him, both of his previous marriages lasted just 18 months... ridiculous i should have run a mile, but they say love is blind, my relationship lasted 9 years, and he always told me 3rd time lucky ! ah thats a joke, so although i am hurting, i know deep down that he will do this again, and i am better off without him... well i would be if he'd just leave and let me move on :angry:

  • Rebecca186
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08 Mar 08 #16163 by Rebecca186
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Mike you are a very wise man ....

I removed myself mentally and physically 18 months ago, I just woke up one morning and said enough....no more, it was making me ill, moody, angry and most of all resentful..and as everyone has said you are worth so much more and you have to believe that, as we believe you are.
Step by step, I was a fool....I believed I trusted and always took responsibility as to why he "played" (not long term affairs that threatened my marriage)....but as another posting said temptation maybe there but he never went there as he had far to much respect for his wife and family. He is a man in the true sense of the word and believe me I have discovered that there are many out there who think the same. I too get told how much he loves me etc but if you love someone you do not hurt and make them cry and destroy their insides...............I am here if ever you want to sound out, we can moan, share, get angry together and come through it stronger than everx Hugs x

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08 Mar 08 #16193 by townie
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I too am in the same kind of position as you.Found out 6 months ago my s2bx had been living a double life for 3 years with a mistress .We had been married for 24 years and have 2 kids.All along I asked if there was any problems and he always denied it, but in my heart I knew something was changing between us.I am divorcing him now for adultary.He couldn't promise never to do it again, and I realised that once that rust was gone I could never have lived a happy life with him.There are days when i feel sad, but I comfort myself in the thought that I would have been a lot sadder if I had stayed with him and lost my self respect.Its very hard but I am trying to move on, I know I can cope and I am stronger than he was, else he would never had strayed and if he had problems then he should have dealt with them with me.I consider myself well rid of him, and she is welcome to him.Just think she will have to spend the rest of her life wondering if he is cheating... and you don't.You have peace of mind and will be happy again if only you let yourself .

  • cindygirl
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08 Mar 08 #16204 by cindygirl
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(((needhimout)))) Im so sorry you too are going through this. My husband is trying to stay in my life every day too, ringing & texting, calling round to check im ok (so he says) but i think hes just trying to stop me moving on & meeting a new man. He wants this other woman but doesnt want to let go of me yet, maybe he feels insecure with her? I know ive got to keep moving forward & try to get through this, and im sure we both will. Thanks for your reply, its good to know you're all here x

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08 Mar 08 #16205 by cindygirl
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Thanks to you all for taking the time to reply, Mike, Rebecca, Townie & everyone else thats left me posts here. Its nice to know im not alone in all of this, & you're all so right in what you say. I hope one day we can all look back at what happened & see that we are much happier without them. I just want the divorce over with soon, i might even go away to stop him being in my life so i can get over him properly. But i'll keep in touch, thanks again x

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08 Mar 08 #16221 by cindygirl
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Townie im sorry you're going through the same as i am, your message gives me hope though & you're so very right x

  • jelly4toes
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09 Mar 08 #16236 by jelly4toes
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this all resounds with me too.read the post and thought this looks familiar did i write this .obviously not but oh boy i could have.if we stick togethe we can all come out of this a lot wiser the alternative stayingwith them would be in 10 yrs time to be lost and crushed.its interesting how we all feel each others pain lets rejoice in being free and human.

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