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Hi Mel, I cauaght part your story on chat last night but you were in full flow and i missed the begining. What a situation you find yourself in no wonder you dont know which way to turn. Your final statement though 'I want to do what is right and least damaging for my daughter' says it all, your daughter needs to stay near her dad. Its is hard enough when parents break up but changing her school, family and environment may not be what she needs right now, she needs to know here mummy and daddy will always be there for her and love her above everything else. Your new relationship if solid will survive whatever life throws at it or it may be right guy but wrong time, only you know that. You are faced with a dificult decesion but there are lots of people on here who can support you, talk soon.Harrietbaby

Hi MelB, what a terrible dilema you find your self in. Your heart is telling you one thing and your head another. To my way of thinking, I would wait the two years and get to know your Dutch man better. One question I keep on asking myself is why he needs to stay in his native country and you to move. It is so easy these days to travel to the Nederlands. Spend some time with him by going over to see him, in School holiday time, that way your daughter can be involved.
If the relationship grows, at the end of two years+ you will be in a much better position to make a decision. Now fot the hard part, try to detach yourself from your emotional side and make a list of practical pro's and cons. This should also show the way forward. For instance what about the situation if you go to live in the Nederlands, not being able to speak the language, and your man decides to go back to his wife?. What are your rights in a foreign country in situations like this? What about your daughter/father visitation rights.

And last but not least keep the dialogue going with your husband, be open and honest, it really will make all the differnce when and if divorce proceeding start.

Hello melB

Slould i go or stay the discussion may well be hypothetical as your H will no dowt issue prohibited steps order proventing your daughter form leaveing the country sorry.

dukey