A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Hi, New Here & Feeling Lost.

  • kizzy2008
  • kizzy2008's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
More
12 Mar 08 #16590 by kizzy2008
Topic started by kizzy2008
Hi, I'm new to all this.
Sorry if I ramble on a bit.

I've had the fortnight from hell.

Three weeks ago I was sure hubby dearest had always been
faithful, caring, sharing, loving and giving.

Boy was I blind.

My x2b and I have been married (no kids) for 11 years and together for 16.
Three weeks ago I was working away on the PC at home while he was at work.
The work was dull and my mind began to wander. His behavior had been cold,
odd and his buses/trains to work etc. never seemed to arrive on time.
All manner of little things began hitting me like they were being told to me
by a little voice from somewhere else, like jigsaw puzzle pieces clicking into place.
Then a sureness that he was having an affair hit me.

I rang him in a blind panic and put it to him, he said
I was being stupid and that he wasn't like that.

He came home that evening determined to start a fight.
I know the warning signs and saw it in his face the
second he stepped through the door and I didn't have long to wait.
In the course of the row he came out with the following,
"I'm way cleverer than you thought I was. I've actually
slept with five different women over the years, right
from the start. Now do you wanna know what else, I'm
seeing number five now and I'm in love with her and I'm
gonna leave you for her"

Saying life has not been good since is the biggest
understatement I've ever made, that's for sure.

He's still here. I'm in a right state, have lost 3/4 of a
stone in weight and my job because of it all. I have no
family, friends nor money and have developed a smoking
habit that an industrial chimney would be proud of. I'm
just lucky his guilt means he's willing to pay for them
in the short term.

I feel lost, disgusted with myself and alone in the world.

  • smoker
  • smoker's Avatar
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
12 Mar 08 #16599 by smoker
Reply from smoker
you are not alone kizzy,my story much the same as yours only,he has told me nothing,the stress has put me in hospital ,i have lost 2.5stone and smoking is the only thing that keeps me going!what are you going to do now?

  • kizzy2008
  • kizzy2008's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
More
12 Mar 08 #16605 by kizzy2008
Reply from kizzy2008
I'm not sure at this point, what to do.

I've got to go on benefits till I can get myself
together so I've begun to immerse myself in the practical
matters.

He is going to live with "her" very soon.
She also has a husband she is dumping on from a great height and
2 children who are going to get hurt in all this.

He's not a bad bloke, he just always had a knack of making
the childish/foolish/selfish choice in many areas not just relationship wise.

They are both acting in a totally selfish way, not caring about anyone else in their lives.

They both seem to have a strange madness inducing infatuation
with each other, kind of like an addiction.

He appears quite mental over her, I've never seen him
like this. He has been crying to me that he was scared
she'd go back to her husband. He's totally blind to the
fact I'm experiencing pain when he talks about her.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11