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Please help me

  • Pinewood
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17 Mar 08 #17017 by Pinewood
Topic started by Pinewood
I would like some advice/help/wisdom from anyone who has any knowledge that could help me in my circumstances.

I divorced my wife because she joined a religious cult, I stood by her for 17 years but could no longer take the bizzare lifestyle she was forcing myself and the children to live by.

I am now divorced and I am trying to sort out the division of assets. She remains in our 4 bedroom detached property by herself, myself and our 3 children moved out into rented accomodation when she began getting aggressive and threatening my children because they no longer wished to be part of her cult.

Although I am entirely financially responsible for my children aged 18, 16 and 14 (she refuses to have anything to do with them) She is demending 50% of the assets along with half of my disability war pension which I received prior to our marriage.

I am paying for all my legal fees and she is on legal aid, she is using the legal aid system to wrack up huge bills for me and has told me to give her what she wants or she will continue with bankrupting me. In short she creates a brand new allegation each week that my lawyer apparently has to answer.She has told me she can go on doing this forever until I give her what she wants and thus far it looks like she is right.

Is there anything I can do to bring this to an end quicker without giving in to her demands?

It should be noted that behind her stands her cult who are demanding 10% of her share which is why I suppose she is going for such a large share when she has no children to look after.

Can anyone give me any advice or help please.

  • dukey
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17 Mar 08 #17023 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Hello Pinewood

What a sad story and i for one am sorry for you.

When you go to court her storys will count for nothing, as you are looking after the children the court will cound your needs and your childrens as paramount therefore you and your children should be liveing in the family home not her.

Perhaps you should consider getting a new sol if after a year yours has made little progress.

dukey

  • LittleMrMike
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17 Mar 08 #17036 by LittleMrMike
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Blimey. Never come across this before and I suspect nobody else has !

A few thoughts.

1. If a legally aided client acts unreasonably, the solicitor MUST report this to the Legal Services Commission. This over-rides the normal duty of confidentiality to a client.
2. Has your wife considered the statutory charge and that she also will have to repay for her lawyer for this behaviour and not just you ?
3. What your wife is doing strikes me as potential litigation misconduct and the Court has the power to take into account, inter alia, " whether it was reasonable for a party to raise, pursue or contest a particular allegation or issue ".

On the substantive issue, the fact that you have children living with you who prefer to live with their father ( and would no doubt tell the Court this and WHY ) would be a strong argument for your being awarded the right to live in the house for as long as the children were under 18.

I note you have a lawyer - what does (s)he think ? A Court does have powers to deal with vaxatious or unreasonable litigants.

Good luck !
Mike 100468

  • Pinewood
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04 Apr 08 #18529 by Pinewood
Reply from Pinewood
Many thanks for your reply, I have taken your advice and appointed a new solicitor.

  • Pinewood
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04 Apr 08 #18530 by Pinewood
Reply from Pinewood
Mike, many thanks for your advice I have raised the points that you suggested with my solicitor and she is now taking a different approach. I still have my doubts as to anything constructive happening, it seems to me that the current legal aid system can be used to bankrupt people and can be used as an unfair advantage. The whole system seems outdated and is geared to favour the wife's side irrespective of the circumstances.
I am grateful to you for your advice and very much appreciate it.

  • jelly4toes
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04 Apr 08 #18532 by jelly4toes
Reply from jelly4toes
no disrespecting us ladies please you will end up in fred the caveman's shoes.be careful you will get some man bashing and you will feel more frustrated and miserable.we are on here to lurve hug and support each other.fells better that way.don't u think.
what she is doing is an abuse of process.However its proving it.my advise would be to get your hands on a portable dictaphone get her saying this stuff on tape.thats her sorted.she won't have a leg to stand on then you can report her to the law society the legal aid will be revoked.
i have to say old boy if the boot was on the other foot ie it was you rather than her that was making these nonsense things up and u were on legal aid then it would be the other way round but the position would be the same ie its not a sexist thing.i know so many women who get dragged through proceedings by men hell bent on making ex suffer.
what i have learnt is that this thing requires the patience of a saint.no good getting frustrated.
life is crap 4 u at the moment but you will look back at this in the future and feel relieved she is out of your hair.don't forget cults are unreasonable her head will be full of unreasonable stuff the court will see that.it will be ok you may even get her out of the house and off back to cult city.hang in there.

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