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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Hi am new here

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22 Mar 08 #17393 by anotherone
Topic started by anotherone
would just like to say Hi,am so glad I have found a site like this as I too am going through the emotional rollercoaster of splitting up.

All quite new to me it is just over 3 weeks since I received the phone call to say he wished to split and that he had met someone else after 28 years of marriage,I am so angry I think I deserved more than that.

I have 4 children
24 year old daughter who is married with 2 children
23 year old daughter who is living with me
18 year old son living with me (he has ADHD)
14 year old son living with me ( he has just been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome)

He has decided he is going to live abroad ( he works in Singapore)and wants the house sold asap.

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22 Mar 08 #17394 by dukey
Reply from dukey
Hello Anotherone

So sorry to hear your husband has left after such a long marriage, but noe its time to look after you.

When emotions are running so high its not always easy to think straight so best to take advice before decideing anything.

He cant sell the house regardless of what he wonts its your house too and the starting piont for the asset split is 50-50 for a marriage as long as yours.

You will find lots of help support and advice on this site and you are very wellcome.

Keep posting questions and the divorce giude is well worth a read you can also use the Divorce Calculator as a giude to what you can expect, hope it all helps you dureing the comeing weeks and months.

dukey

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22 Mar 08 #17398 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
If the house deeds are just in his name you need to register a notice of matrimonial home rights with the Land Registry otherwise there is no immediate rush if you are able to manage financially;-

www.landregistry.gov.uk

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22 Mar 08 #17401 by anotherone
Reply from anotherone
Hi again,
Thanks for the reply.

Have already been to see a solicitor as I know how he is, and my gut feeling is he will do a runner, he is self employed and we had to do a self cert mortgage and paying heftly for it,so I know the house will have to go as I could not afford it as I don't work.
My understanding is that due to the length of our marriage I am legally entitled to 60% of the proceeds of the home (I am in Scotland by the way don't know if that makes a difference)

Going by the tone of the emails I have received from him,he has mentioned if I try and take him to the cleaners he will just disappear and I will get nothing (nice guy eh)

He does seem desperate to get the house sold and go for a divorce (which I have been advised is not in my best interests at this point)all this in just 3 weeks,had honestly had no idea this was coming,we were making plans for the summer just the week before. Boy has it hit me hard I can't believe I was married to this guy, my daughter thinks he has lost his marbles.

I have found somewhere not far from here to rent (but I am keeping that to myself just now) where my son will still go to the same school,as this could be very damaging to him.Just going to carry on making him think he is kicking us out onto the street, not that I think he will care he has only ever looked after himself.

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22 Mar 08 #17402 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
If you live in Scotland you don't need to register matrimonial home rights. Also there is a strong burden of proof required to use unreasonable behaviour or adultery as reason for the divorce so unless you consent to divorce after one year or behave unreasonably your husband can't divorce without your consent until after two years separation.

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22 Mar 08 #17403 by Ladybelle
Reply from Ladybelle
Just wanted to say Hi and welcome. I had a long marriage and had no idea anything was coming until my x2b told me last September and walked out.
I cant help with official things, there are loads of friendly people on here who have lots of clever knowledge, but I have broad shoulders and can listen if you need to talk. You're not alone, we're all here for you.

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22 Mar 08 #17405 by anotherone
Reply from anotherone
Thank you for all the advice and yes it is nice to have someone to talk to,I find just getting it out of my head helps, I do tend to ramble on a bit.

Some days are worse than others,not too bad today,but yesterday spent most of the afternoon in bed,as I just couldn't see the point of getting on with every day things.

But glad to say that has passed ( I know I will probably have quite a few of those)but I have the support of my family to help me through, my kids bless them have been wonderful,and are just disgusted by his behaviour,I really try hard for their sake,and I am learning to just deal with one day at a time for now.

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