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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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what should I do?

  • waiting240
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22 Mar 08 #17431 by waiting240
Topic started by waiting240
Hi All,
I haven't looked at anyones' messages yet, but if anyone could help me to find out if my marriage is over or if I should keep it going,I could really do with your help. If you think you can help please reply and I will tell you more. xxxxx

  • mike62
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22 Mar 08 #17433 by mike62
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Waiting240,
Welcome to wikivorce. Lots of friendly people who know how you feel. Please post up whatever you think is relevant to your circumstances and I am sure lots of people will offer a view. You sound to be in a panic. Calm down, deep breath and tell us what is troubling you. Maybe someone will be able to give you the reassurance or the virtual hug that you need. Take care
Mike ;)

  • peterc
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22 Mar 08 #17435 by peterc
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hi waiting - hope u ok, we have all been there, its hard but it does get easier

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22 Mar 08 #17436 by waiting240
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OK, I have been married for nearly 6 years.15 months ago I found out my husband was having an affair. I forgave him for the sack of our daughter who was 18 month old at the time. 15 months longer and things have not improved. when I asked him if he felt any sexual/physical attraction to me, he said no! Should I stay in a relationship without that kind of intimaticy at the age of 40? He is still happy to live with me on a day to day situation but that is where it ends. I need more, am I asking too much? Should I put up as all marriages get in a rut and that is what I have to live with? I personally want more!!!!!!

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22 Mar 08 #17437 by spyder
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my hubby had affair, and we stuck at it and moved away. 5 years later he had another affair, but this time he was more prepared and had written up a lot of debt in my name before leaving. He now claims he never felt anything for me, ever, but at the time I thought it was good.It's a tough one. Only you know your hubby. It doesnt sound like you are very happy. And everyone keeps telling me a leopard never changes his spots. Have you tried marriage guidance? Best of luck with whatever you do.

  • mike62
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23 Mar 08 #17440 by mike62
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Waiting240,
What does your husband want? A nursemaid for your daughter? A housekeeper? Whatever it is, he does not deserve the emotional effort that you are currently expending on him and your relationship. Why should you be second best? He needs to understand what he has and what he could be losing. Perhaps Relate is a way forward for you both to explore where you are and where BOTH of you think you should be. Never say never. Maybe he needs a wake up call to show him where he is deficient. A relationship is a two way street. Sounds just a touch one sided at the moment. You were prepared to forgive the affair and move on. He seems to take that as a green light to do what he wants to do. Not acceptable!. Yes, the alternative is grim for you and your daughter. But what if you let it all carry on? How would you be feeling in 1, 5, 10 years time? Strikes me he is unrepentant from 1st affair. You deserve more. I think you and he need to talk with a professional counselor to understand where you both think you are. You are entitled to a happy life. We all are. What will make it happy? with him or without him? Tough call. But only you can decide that. Be nice to yourself and take care of you and your daughter. For me, you deserve more. Keep posting and let us know your thoughts.
Mike ;)

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