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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

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  • arnest
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23 Mar 08 #17442 by arnest
Topic started by arnest
I am in the process of thinking about a divorce. I have a husband who spends beyond our means. I make three times the income he does--however he has no concept that the money I make does not cover his every want and need. How are others dealing with this problem. I feel the only way I can get out of debt is to divorce him. Any answers??

  • mike62
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23 Mar 08 #17449 by mike62
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arnest,
Welcome to Wikivorce. It is a tough time for you right now. Money makes the world go round, but debt can suck you through the plughole in an instant. Your husband is clearly not in touch with reality. But I sense that nothing you say to him is sinking in. Have you thought about seeing someone like citizens advice or relate with him in tow, so that he hears it from the horse's mouth? You can't keep on taking on more debt. Right now interest rates are headlining at 7%. I bought my first house in the late 80s when rates were similar. They shot up to 15% over a period of a year. My mortgage went through the roof to the extent that ALL my nett income went on the mortgage and I had to do silly overtime to have any money to eat or pay utilities. I feel that things are going to get worse before they get better in the current economic climate.
Notwithstanding that, maybe Relate is s good route to choose so that he can see just how unhappy is making you with his silly spending plans. Depending on his reaction to that will help your decision as to whether divorce is the right route to take.
In the interim, I would distance yourself from any credit cards that are jointly held - pay it off and cancel account if you can and make him run his own personal account. If you can, make sure that any joint liabilities are minimised, so he doesn't drag you further down.
Best of luck, I am sure others will have experiences to share and ideas to give. Take care of yourself and don't get too stressed by it all. There is always a way forwards.
Mike

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