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Hi - another what should I do?

  • attilladahun
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24 Mar 08 #17512 by attilladahun
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"He also said that if I hadn't found out that it may have well fizzled out and that by finding out I have backed him into a corner"

How often do I see "the grass is greener" syndrome and 6 months down the pike parties who separate want to "turn the clock back" in circumstances like this.

There has been so much going on in both of your lives in the last few years

By saying the above I think H is saying that H doesn't see a long term future with her.

Now I think you should try and work it out.

What does his liason offer him -it seems some "calm" and may be a bolt hole to get away from the pressures. May be you should take stock of the situation and evaluate how you could change things to try and "deal" with the pressures you have both faced.

Facing the teenage issues is tough but you have them in common so working together to resolve that can be a start. I think Sexysadie is right.

  • Getaway
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24 Mar 08 #17514 by Getaway
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Thanks for your replies. Would like to give it another go with him as I really cannot imagine a life where he is not involved. It has been so difficult recently and my mind is all over the place, very down one moment and barely coping to thinking well maybe things could be different. I only hope the counselling makes a difference. I have very few friends and do not wish to burden my sisters with this.

Catz

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24 Mar 08 #17532 by Chill
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catz, do not be afraid to talk to people, your sisters are there for you, if they love you they will be there for you and try to understand, although unless they have been through it, they cannot possibly grasp the pain and torment you feel. For my part, my brother and sister in law have been fantastic and are still prepared to listen a year on. My sister in law was very very close to my wife, so it is difficult for her as she feels torn. If you do decide to try again, the effort has to come from both sides, learning from past mistakes but moving forward without proportioning blame and try to re discover what attracted you to each other in the first place. Be prepared for a long journey if you go down this road. All that said, there must be genuine feelings of love, however slight, between you for another try to have the remotest chance of succeeding, if not, you will both be back in the same place a few months further on.I wish you all the love and luck in your quest to find happiness and peace.

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