New to here

Hi everyone.....

This is weird..... for ages I used to be on a wedding forum, never thought I would be on this kind of forum......

Anyways....... after 4 years and 7 months, my husband and I have separated..... he moved out over a month ago, we have a cat (who was given to me by my friend) that needs the garden, and I couldn''t afford to move out, so he chose to move out.

Its all amicable, which is a good thing I guess, I have been in previous relationships where it has ended horribly.

I guess it started going wrong around October last year. I have second job which I love doing, but he never supported me in it, was always negative, but was pretty quick to take the rewards (i.e. gifts, vouchers, wine etc.).

There were also a couple of times when his brother insulted me and my husband would just stand by and watch it happen and not come to my defence.

And in general, if I wanted affection, hugs or even a kiss, I was pushed away. I would be lucky if I got a kiss on the cheek in the morning.

So, we decided in February to separate and we have got on a lot better since then.

Now we have decided that it won''t work between us again as I feel too pushed away and have fallen out of love with him because of that and he says he will never support me in my second job.

He says that he has seen a solicitor (which annoyed me as he didn''t tell me this til afterwards) to discuss what should happen next and the solicitor has advised for him to divorce me on grounds of MY unreasonable behaviour!!!!!

Really upset about that as it was mainly him whose behaviour that was unreasonable.

I am going to see a solicitor myself on Thursday for 30 minutes free advice..... I want to prepare for it, so I was wondering if there were any questions I should ask in particular? Especially about the grounds issue.

Thanks in advance....

Are you both really sure you want to get divorced? Have you had a real heart to heart about shared dreams/vision/life? It sounds to me like communication is the issue here. I read your post and I see you blaming him. I wonder what he would write in a similar post?

I encourage you to really think this through. Get divorced if you want to. If you think it''s best. We''ll be here to support you. But be open to honest and genuine conversation with your husband about what went wrong and why. If you want to...