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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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The saga continues

  • dukey
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06 Apr 12 #322001 by dukey
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Technically the only way you can be made to pay your wife money is by order of court, this can only happen if one of you files for divorce as you say.

So that`s the fact, but is it wise, not always, often its cheaper for you both in the long run if you can agree what is to happen and when, if you can`t then either of you have the option of making applications to court, this is when it can become very messy, you both engage solicitors and the costs escalate quickly and before you know it war has broken out.

Talk with relate, and talk with a mediator, in fact just talk, the best chance you have of bringing this to a reasonable conclusion is to agree all matters between yourselves, rather than think what you must do think what should i do, there is an expensive chasm between the two.

  • Marshy_
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06 Apr 12 #322052 by Marshy_
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Sam72 wrote:

Thanks Marshy, but why would I pay my wife to leave me and take my boys away. Surely I am not liable to pay anything until she files for divorce. Also why would it save me a lot of money later on?


Read the rest of it. Its not all about money. The money is actually a small part. Its yr mental health that is more important. And yr boys are not gone for good. They can stay with you also. And I suspect you will be able to see them as often as you want. Many report that the relationship improves in situations like yrs. C.

  • Lostboy67
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07 Apr 12 #322117 by Lostboy67
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To echo what Marshy said, its not just about the money, I lived in the same house as my s2bx for 2 years, it was her that wanted out but she didn''t go, and I wasn''t prepared to. Bottom line is that after 18 months of continued hostility I ended up in a very ''dark place'' I fortunatly got some help with this but make no mistake regarding your mental health you are facing a tough test, and its probably a case of when it fails rather than if.
I am not saying you should act on this now but keep it as an option

LB

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07 Apr 12 #322127 by sun flower
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I feel for you. I can''t think of another forum where you would get such honest or heartfelt advice.

  • whatgoesaroundcomesaround
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07 Apr 12 #322207 by whatgoesaroundcomesaround
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I would Google "Just Let Them Go"......it got me through the early dark days and still gives me a strength that I didn''t know that I had.
I guess that the kids would not be able to stay with you??

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