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Relate Appointment Booked - Any advice please

  • Sam72
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13 Apr 12 #323427 by Sam72
Topic started by Sam72
Morning All, appointment booked with Relate on Tuesday. Advice from anyone who has been there and done it and how to get the most from the hour would be appreciated.
I''ve fallen into turmoil again, over the Easter holiday we got on so well, the best in years, and had so much fun with the boys, and I started to really believe we could make a go of it. She booked the Relate session to see how we could best break up and not for reconciliation.
Since the Easter break, she has gone really cold and barely said two words to me, almost as if she recognised that we were getting on too well and she had to put a stop to it.
My final question is, why is she so fixated with breaking up (so quickly)when she has ended the affair and says that there is 100% no-one else.
I''m afraid I don''t understand the female mind.
Please help, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks.

  • happyagain
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13 Apr 12 #323429 by happyagain
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Because she''s lying to you?
Sorry :(

  • Shezi
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13 Apr 12 #323453 by Shezi
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I think happyagain has a point, Sam. I would at least factor in the possibility. When people are fixated on something it is because something is driving them. They can usually see an end point and are doggedly trying to reach it.

You may never know, but see what comes out in Relate? We spent 7 months in Relate (and a lot of £££s)... they are usually very skilled.

Good luck

Shezi

  • hawaythelads
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13 Apr 12 #323456 by hawaythelads
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It''s always a good start if the stbx misus hasn''t had sex with the other fella an hour before showing up for the meeting.
Oh Dear was that just me again :dry:
Reckon your flogging a dead horse mate.
If she''s all keen to do the offski she''s still seeing the other bloke or has a new one lined up.
All the best
HRH xx

  • Bobbinalong
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13 Apr 12 #323469 by Bobbinalong
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If your senses are not out of tune and the feelings you get after easter are anything to go by, and they usually are.
Relate will be a good opportunity for her to come up with some stories about how you are such a bad parent and and cr*p husband and there is no denying your best leaving the house.

As my ex did, daughter is suffering with bad stomach and cant cope with the stress I am causing !
Relate official advised I was best moving out...!
Fact every other kid in school had the squits didnt really count, and I paid £55 to be told I should move out.
Hang on, I am supposed to be here for my wife to explain in a calm manner why this nightmare is just beginning at all and how we can save our marriage, Ah, well she had already been to CA and sols, so didnt really matter and she might have got another free meal out from me if went too well...

  • pixy
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13 Apr 12 #323475 by pixy
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To get the best from Relate you have to be honest. I realised it was a waste of time when stbx trotted out the same lies to the counsellor as he did to me. It did help me come to terms with the fact that divorce was inevitable.

  • Canuck425
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13 Apr 12 #323510 by Canuck425
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She''s already moved on and is just trying to figure out how to be "nice". In her mind it''s over and you need to catch up and get with the program.

Your marriage is over. Done. Never to return. Now, maybe with time and mutual hard work you two could build something new. It does not sound like that is where her head is at right now.

So, look out for your interests. Take care of yourself first. Start figuring out what life looks like without her. You''ll see it''ll be ok and probably can even be great.

The healthiest way to proceed is to make your life great. That will take time and a lot of work on you. The irony is that this is also a very attractive quality. There is a decent chance after you do that she will want you back. Then what will you do???

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