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Advice please re ex''s new partner in family home -

  • Newstartman
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17 Apr 12 #324475 by Newstartman
Topic started by Newstartman
Thank you in advance for your help here. As context: My wife and I are separated.I agreed to move out of the family home and leave my wife and 2 children to stay there, while I rent another property.

My younger child stays with me 2 nights every week. As I had a brief period out of work I said we should wait for a divorce until I was working again and in stable employment. I am now working. My name is on the deeds of the property and I lived there alone for 10 years before my wife moved in after we were married. I pay all the bills and all the mortgage, endowment etc
She has never paid any bills relating to the property or groceries etc., She now has a boyfriend staying in the home on a regular basis and I have told her I object to this staying overnight aspect as I am supporting her and the children for their benefit and am not paying everything to have someone else stay there and in effect be a consumer of electricity, water etc., and to ''benefit'' from me paying everything including council tax, home insurance etc., My question is: Does she have the right to have her boyfried stay overnight despite the property being in my name and that I pay everything, or do I have right to insist he does not stay overnight on a regular basis? Thank you

  • WhiteRose
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17 Apr 12 #324480 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose
Hi Newstartman,

Welcome to wiki!

Does your stbx work or have income to support the mortgage?

What usually happens at this early stage (pre divorce petition) is the person who stays in the house pays mortgage/bills/groceries etc.

The person who has left the property pays CM at a voluntary agreed rate which could be based round the CSA calc:

www.csacalculator.dsdni.gov.uk/calc.asp

Probably best to start the Divorce process, see attached link for step by step explanation:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Step-By-Step-G...de/Introduction.html

at the Decree Nisi stage - this is where you need to start discussing finances.

If you can''t sort out between you, mediation can be a great help!

Yes, it can see why this situation could upset you, but you can also do something about it.

Take care

WR

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17 Apr 12 #324504 by Newstartman
Reply from Newstartman
Thanks.

Re my main question, is my wife allowed to have her boyfriend stay overnight in the FMH despite the property being in my name and I pay all bills?

Appreciate your further throughts here.

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17 Apr 12 #324508 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose
:blush:Sorry .......

Yes, there''s nothing to stop him staying there, if they co-habit this could reduce her % claim on the marital pot/SM

WR

  • happyagain
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17 Apr 12 #324511 by happyagain
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Yes, your wife is allowed to have any guests stay over that she pleases if she lives there (which she does).
However, you don''t have to make this easy for her. As WR said, you don''t have to pay anything other than child maintenance at the moment. Whilst some might argue that its not fair to pull the financial rug out from under your wife''s feet, it seems to me that your wife is taking the mick. She''s not contributing a penny to the household and then invites her boyfriend in to benefit from your largesse. Very cheeky!!
I would state to your wife very plainly that you are not prepared to continue to maintain her and her boyfriend. Either the boyfriend does not stay over until all financials are sorted, or you stop contributing to the household.

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17 Apr 12 #324513 by Newstartman
Reply from Newstartman
Thanks for your detailed reply. I appreciate it

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17 Apr 12 #324515 by WhiteRose
Reply from WhiteRose
Just to clarify - my advice was not to make life awkward for your wife. Or pull the financial rug from under her.

However in the current set up she may not be in any hurry to make any different arrangements and people are rarely able to afford a home for themselves (+ food & bills) and still pay mortgage on FH (+ bills etc) Its admirable that you are doing this, but long term it may be untenable.

At the financial stage, you all will need to think realistically about what happens to the FH, have a look at these links:

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice...he-Marital-Home.html

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice...-gets-the-house.html

WR

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