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Relate appointment attended. Our story.

  • Sam72
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17 Apr 12 #324499 by Sam72
Topic started by Sam72
Just back from Relate, it is good to talk. And we''ve booked further sessions. I found it useful and we were able to talk without getting each others backs up. Our problem is that we never communicated effectively. Funny, we''re both sales managers and communicate with our teams and customers daily but not with each other. When we had kids her life changed, mine didn''t. I still lived like a batchelor. I had a life of riley. I admit that, after 5 years of being downtrodden she''d had enough. We are still really good friends and I still have strong feelings for her. However her feelings for me have now been eroded. I can see that it''s over. Our first Relate meeting has given real clarity. Although I still cling to faint hope. I''m now prepared for the worst and can start to move on. Ultimately I would recommend. Now advice on moving on would be useful, quite scared at the thought of living on my own.

  • Shezi
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17 Apr 12 #324535 by Shezi
Reply from Shezi
Hi Sam - I''m glad to hear you found the appointment useful even if it didn''t bring the outcome you might have wanted. Ultimately, clarity is worth a lot. From there, you can plan a direction in which to move on.

I can totally appreciate your anxiety in imagining the future. However, as I said somewhere else recently, don''t look at the big picture any more than you have to if it scares you. Be aware of the direction you''re planning to move in but then focus on the next step (and if you don''t need to take a step at all for a while, then don''t). If you only tackle the things you can manage for a while, this will help to build your courage and confidence in order to take a bigger step when the time comes.

I didn''t do anything at all much for the first 6 months after separation - barely left the house. It took me a while to realise that I could use my time as I saw fit. Some habits and routines take a while to change. I found it useful to try to think of things I would have liked to do but (for whatever reason) couldn''t when married. Little by little, it began to feel like freedom instead of a big, gaping hole of time.

Keep talking Sam


  • Sam72
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19 Apr 12 #324898 by Sam72
Reply from Sam72
Thank you Shezi, I must admit that I do try and solve everything in one go. I am beginning to understand that is not possible and to take things slower. I am now tackling things one day at a time, how can I get the most out of today, that''s it. Well thats the plan anyway.

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