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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Never thought i would be on here..

  • inaspin
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23 Apr 12 #325966 by inaspin
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Hi Bobinalong,

Thanks for the support...
The problem down here is the price of renting.. Looking at a 1 bed for £525 a month.. i have nothing left down here not but my kids.. If i move back up to yorkshire to be with my family it would leave me with a 2 1/2 hour drive to get my kids for the weekend... so a 5 hr return to get them and onother to drop them off.... I have no-one to turn to hereand after today am considering leaving my job and some mates and cutting loose..... After a bad start to today (just over 1 hrs sleep) had a crap day at work then poped into tesco to get a little shopping.... got half way round then broke down!!!!!. All i did was look in the trolly at my (Meals for one) and burst into tears.... WTF is going on with me... I,m a 39 year old bloke who soddin cries at a ready meal?????? Well i just left the trolly in the middle of tesco and legged it... So now i''m back on my own looking through the TV.. not at it and thought i may as well get this out of me on here.. If anything it has given me something to do....
Well sorry for going on but you are my only option at the moment as being in the caravan i am relying on my mobile for internet....Was going to take the Bike out for a blast... but the way i am at the moment thought that may not be the best idea....
So should i stay or should i go???????
That is the question....................

  • livinginhope
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23 Apr 12 #325968 by livinginhope
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Hi,me again,I really would advise you to see your GP for help.I was very much how you describe and it is too much to cope with.
Hang on to your job if possible and don''t leave without having another one lined up.Not working can make the Depression even worse.Try and see friends socially as much as possible.Try not to make major decisions when you are in your present state as you may act in haste and regret them later.

  • BrokenPromises
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23 Apr 12 #325970 by BrokenPromises
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Hi inaspin.

Really sorry to hear what you''re going through. Have been where you are and it is a horrible feeling. Have been divorced for 4 months and it all happened very quickly and has left me reeling.

But please be gentle with yourself and definitely do not go out on your bike! You need all your wits about you for that and you are not in the right frame of mind.

Not a good idea to make any big decisions at the moment. One day at a time and baby steps - you will read that a lot on here - and believe me it is very good advice. Just try to think about what you are going to do today, what you will have to eat - just small things. Everything else is way too scary at the moment. You also must try to get some sleep. If you don''t fancy going to your GP - try Rescue Remedy you can buy it from health shops or Tescos - it''s not a miracle cure but it does help to keep you calm and it has really helped me stop bursting into tears and has helped me sleep.

You really have to look after you - and as I said - be gentle with yourself.

Take care

  • u6c00
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01 May 12 #327643 by u6c00
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Hi Inaspin

I''ve posted in another thread in reply to your message, but I found this one with more detail. To reiterate what I said there: 1 - slow down, 2 - get a safe roof over your head.

As well as that I would recommend a few practical things.

By the way, Caht (I think) was a typo for ''chat'' which you can find in the community tab at the top of the page.

It sounds like you''re having a hard time dealing with things. That''s to be expected, if you weren''t struggling then you wouldn''t be human. We have all been there at times, and we have all been given help from somewhere or other. As others have suggested, seeing a GP is a good idea. They may prescribe something (like antidepressants, sleeping tablets or something like valium which is useful for calming you down from a heightened emotional state) depending on your needs and the GP''s assessment of you. There is nothing to fear from such an assessment, and if you feel like you can''t cope it''s the most responsible thing to do. Sleeping tablets are absolutely not a long term solution to the sleep problem, but you make poor decisions and are more emotionally ''on edge'' when you''re tired, that''s a fact. They can help you through this short term period of difficulty.

Register yourself as homeless with your local council housing department. Explain that you''re living in a caravan. They might be able to help, though waiting lists are often long. If you come under a vulnerable category (such as having a mental health problem) you will be bumped up the list. You could also try looking for a flatshare for professional sharers.

On a more personal level, as others have said, she is months ahead of you. She has that advantage. Because of that I urge you not to play to her timetable.

Also I would avoid asking yourself (or her) the questions like ''what did I do wrong?'' You can''t go back and change it, so dwelling on it is torturing yourself. I appreciate this feels difficult, even impossible, but you can do it.

Remember, it takes two people to make a relationship work, and only one to end it. It doesn''t matter what you did or didn''t do that motivated her. She chose to end it instead of working at it. Keep that in mind when you try to attribute blame.

I hope things work out for you. Please keep in touch.

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