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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Never thought i would be on here..

  • Ian00123
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22 Apr 12 #325809 by Ian00123
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inaspin.

I know exactly how you are feeling.
You need support. You have plenty of that on here. but also you need physical support.
I''ve not been short of hugs recently and i always came accross as a tough guy who could deal with anything.
I have only recently began sleeping again.
Eating is difficult. but i''ve managed to get round the difficulty by eating healthy, excersising just for something to do and pass the time.

Once you are motivated you will find you can handle most things. i know at the moment you don''t know what happened. Do not blame yourself. try to look at the bigger picture.
You letting your wife get her own way may seem like you are showing her you love her and are trying to make things easy. but also she could look at it as a sign you don''t love her either.

My wife told me she loved me but wasnt happy.
now that does mess with your head.

Just try and be strong. Also give her time.
Rushing things will not help in the future.

There plenty of support groups and counsellors that are there for you.
Dont be afraid to talk about your feelings.

  • inaspin
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22 Apr 12 #325810 by inaspin
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Thanks yellowrose,

Sorry to hear that.
I know people brake up for difficult reasons..me i''m still trying to come to terms with what i have done..... As far as she has told me i have raised my voice at her in public on several occasions and did not pick up on the fact she was not happy... I have never raised a hand to her or my children and never would.. I have never cheated on anyone in my life as it has happend to me once before and cut me to bit''s...I don''t see myself as a bad person but you are only getting my side of the story as i tell it.. I am not perfect but then again who is....I have tried to change who i was throught the marrage to try and make like easy... My stbx is a fantastic mother but i see her now and it''s like i don''t know who she is sometimes...all i want to do is curl up in a ball go to sleep wake up and it was all a dream.. but i know that is not going to happen.. I still have to get up and got to work as i have Kids to look out for and bills to pay... All i can do when i get back to the caravan is sit and stare at the TV.... I know i should buck my ideas up and sort myself out...Its so easy to type away on here as i know from reading other post no one judges you and most are going through it too... I only hope that in the future i will be able to help others....i am just greatfull to be able to vent on here... Once again Thanks all for the replies i will give the helpline a call tomoro to see if they can advise me on what i should be doing next....

Rgds

Steve

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22 Apr 12 #325823 by julesgy
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hi steve
ive been where you are sometimes i spent the whole day in bed doing absolutely nothing - the tv was on for company .... but as my daughter (whos 25) said ''if thats what you need some days then so be it'' i still have the odd days like this but i spend it in the living room with the tv and cut the world off - theyre not as often now but when they come then thats what i do - i did go to my doctors and i was diagnosed with stress and was given tablets they did take about a month to kick in but they did help and i saw councillors (and that took 3 different ones to find the right one for me ) find someone you can talk to im sure you have many friends and you may even be surprised how many of them have had similar experiences in their own lives as i know i was .
be strong steve
take care
julie

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22 Apr 12 #325839 by Onmyway
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Steve
Sorry you find yourself here.

It may be easy to type, but know as I do, it''s not really that easy.

You question yourself, that leads to more questions, you go round in circles and it doesn''t stop when you try to sleep.

Posty and ask as many questions as you need. Someone will be along with a wise reply.

Try to take care of yourself and don''t think too deeply. Take each day as t comes with all the ups and downs, and slowly, it will get easier.

Don''t forget Caht, if you want some company!

Carly

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23 Apr 12 #325849 by Bobbinalong
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hey inaspin, I was very nearly in my caravan in the yard, in fact my ex expected me to move in to it!
Its not easy what you are doing, in fact its almost cruelty.
Are you staying on a site?
You need to be looking to get your own place as it looks like you are not going to be moving back in.
Take things slowly but look after yourself.
Your pririty is to try to get a roof over your head and somewhere for your kids to stay when with you, if your in a tourer, its not a long term solution, but at least its spring, sort of and summer is coming.
When we split up it was november, so no way I was living in the van all winter.
Its the hardest part losing someone you love, it hit you like a train, you lose weight, you worry.
You mentioned she seems very cold and calculated in her actions, thats because for her, she is many months in front of you and knows what she is doing and whats going to happen.

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23 Apr 12 #325960 by inaspin
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Hi Carly,
can i ask what Caht is please..
And thanks for the support its not a good day for me today..

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23 Apr 12 #325965 by livinginhope
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It does sound like you are Clinically depressed and Anti Depressants may help.I have been on them for about 6 months now and they have helped me not to keep bursting into tears at the slightest thing.I have been able to cope with everyday life whilst taking them.
The Samaritans are always there to call if you need to speak to someone.You don''t need to be suicidal to talk to them.

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