have been married for 31 years and am now at the Decree Nisi stage. husband has served 28 years in the army and is now in civil service and so has 2 pensions. I also have private pension. Solicitor has suggested an actuaries report and wanted to split costs but he is refusing to pay half and even to go along with any findings from the report, his solicitor''s letter said I would have to take him to court to get this changed.
This is going to be expensive, although I would like to do it. Anybody know a way round this as I''m getting very frustrated with the whole thing.
also he is resident in the marital home, said he''d put it on market but hasn''t done anything about it yet. Anybody know how I can get him moving on this? speaking to him is not an option as he won''t as he refuses to speak
Probably the sensible thing to do would be to file for Ancillary Relief in court. You would then both have to fill in form E in which you declare all your assets, income, etc., including pensions. He will have to give a CETV of his pensions, but you can then ask for a jointly instructed actuary (whom you pay between you) to value both pensions. If he refuses, you do this formally at the FDR and I would be amazed if the judge refused. it''s probably not worth getting an acturial valuation before that as he could challenge it in court and you would only have to get it done again as a joint instruction.
Similarly you are probably going to have to take him to court to get anything done about the marital home. This will be settled as part of the ancillary relief and there will be some deal about who gets what once both the pensions and the home are valued. If you don''t have a pension one option would be for you to get the house in return for him keeping his pensions - but I would make sure that everything is independently valued before agreeing to anything like this.
It is quite clear from what you say that your husband is hoping that you won''t have the bottle to go to court and he can therefore walk all over you. This is confirmed by his solicitor''s letter. Unfortunately when one person takes this line it is what you will have to do, but given the probable value of his army pension and the fact that he is still living in the house and making no moves to sell it, it is probably well worth your while financially in the long run.
Hi Julia, it is not straightforward this court business. I have you been to a first hearing and a second hearing were nothing has been decided. This is now a year. In the third and hopefully last hearing in June, a judge will make my awful soon to be ex settle. It is distressing enough a divorce but when someone drags their heels as your ex and mine are doing it really gets you down. I think Sadie is right you have to go for the court hearings but it is a lengthy process and costs serious money.
Thank you for your reply.was thinking about going to court before but now I''ve definately decided. Didn''t realise it took so long though, was hoping to be divorced soon. Be worth it in the end.
Good luck in june
hi - going through divorce proceedings now.Unsure if I should be sorting the financial side of things out now with my solicitor or if I should wait?? The marital home is in my EXs name only and at the moment I am paying HIM to keep the house on!
ANYONE GONE THROUGH THIS SORT OF DILEMMA??
we have been married for 18yrs and he tells e im not entitled to anything!!!