I am presently going through divorce and have reached yet another impass.
My wife petitioned divorce back in March 2010 on the grounds of adultury. I won''t defend my actions, but suffice to say, the marriage was over well before I strayed. I learned that she had strayed well before me. That doesn''t excuse my behaviour, but just adds perspective.
Since then, the following has happened: -
1. She reported me to the Police for assault. I was cautioned.
2. She moved to Scotland with my son (8) last June. My daughter (16) lives with me in the marital home
3. I have paid in excess of £25k in legal costs; both hers and mine. The irony is that we were supposed to be using collaborative law, which should be cheaper!
4. We had a 4-way meeting last May in order to facilitate a Consent Order
. We still only have a DRAFT Consent Order.
5. The marital home has been placed on the market, even though I believe that I am not obliged to sell.
The last 2 years have been very stressful and frustrating. Up until June 2011, my wife and I lived together in the marital home. I was in another relationship and the atmosphere was obviously tense.
The Consent Order is very much in her favour, a short summary follows:
1. She gets the first £100k from the house sale. I will get the next £10k. Based upon the current market value, I''ll be lucky to get £5k.
2. She will get 40% of my pension.
3. She has already taken 60% of the house contents and expects more once the house is sold!
4. I pay all travel costs for the children visiting both parents e.g. flights to and from Scotland.
5. I gave her £2,500 to assist with removals.
6. I pay £500 a month in child maintenance
. She pays nothing.
7. I pay £250 a month in spousel maintenance.
I do have a relatively well paid job, but do not live a lavish lifestyle; certainly not with those monthly commitments!
I have spent the bulk of my savings and a loan on legal costs; therefore, feel as though at least some of this should be recouped in the settlement.
Any advice or guidance would be most welcome.