Hi, I am in the process of separating from my husband with who I have two children. I want to be the principal career for the children but have no issue with him seeing them whenever he wants. Due to his working hours I have suggested that he has them on his days off and basically any other times he has free. I have no intention of coming between him and the children as he is a good father and they love him dearly. To my face he agrees with all this but I have recently found out that he is secretly planning to go for custody. Can anyone advise me a to where I stand with this? What are his chances? I am really worried.
Welcome to wiki, sorry you find yourself here.
When you say he is secretly going for custody, I assume by that he is planing to be deemed the PWC (Parent With Care), which is what you are also seeking to do.
The fact that you both want to be the PWC and you acknowledge that he is a good father is a positive thing. The thing with being PWC is that this is where the tax credits and child benfit go. I don''t know enough about your respective work patterns etc but would it be possible to have a shared care arrangement where the children''s care is divided equally, needless to say the running costs of the children would also need to be divided equally. This situation can work but only if both parents are committed to making it work for the children''s benefit.
I would suggest that you have an open and honesst discussion with him regarding what the care arrangments will be, on going for the children.
Dispite what anyone may say the ''system'' is generally tilted towards mothers.
Try not to think about this as a battle over who ''gets the kids'' but more of a constructive discussion about what is in the children''s best interests.