A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Let''s Get It Over With!

  • Shezi
  • Shezi's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
29 Apr 12 #327228 by Shezi
Reply from Shezi
Sorry Palermo... I meant what do you see happening to the children during the next 5 years?

Shezi
The topic has been locked.
  • Palermo
  • Palermo's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
29 Apr 12 #327231 by Palermo
Reply from Palermo
Our eldest child is not in any physical danger. The youngest child if left alone without his brother or myself to look out for him? I''d rather not think about it.
The topic has been locked.
  • Shezi
  • Shezi's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
More
29 Apr 12 #327233 by Shezi
Reply from Shezi
Apologies - I''m not being very clear. How do you see their housing needs being met?

Shezi
The topic has been locked.
  • Palermo
  • Palermo's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
29 Apr 12 #327239 by Palermo
Reply from Palermo
Shezi wrote:

Apologies - I''m not being very clear. How do you see their housing needs being met?

Shezi


I think the house will eventually get repossessed and they''ll end up in council housing.
The topic has been locked.
  • sillywoman
  • sillywoman's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
29 Apr 12 #327242 by sillywoman
Reply from sillywoman
As a father (and husband) do you not feel any responsibility in ensuring your family are housed, or do you expect the government to take care of that?
The topic has been locked.
  • sexysadie
  • sexysadie's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
29 Apr 12 #327243 by sexysadie
Reply from sexysadie
So..maybe I''m not getting this, but this is what you seem to be saying:

Your wife is a terrible mother (in fact, a terrible person) and always has been. She bullies the children and is only not a physical danger to them because the elder one is now old enough to defend both himself and his brother.

Nevertheless, you intend to leave the children with their mother, possibly making them homeless in the process, and then abandon them further by leaving the country.

In five years time you will return and claim the children - by which time the elder one will be eighteen in any case so not a child any more. You believe that they will still want to live with you because they will be desperate to leave the person who has (however unsatisfactorily) looked after them for the past five years, in order to live with someone who abandoned them and left her, and them, to it.

You need to get real here. If your wife is such a terrible parent that the children are potentially in danger, you should at the very least hang around seeing them frequently so you can keep an eye on things. Alternatively you could go for being parent with care yourself. If she isn''t, but is just someone you no longer want to live with who is finding that hard to cope with, then you need to find a way of supporting her parenting, if you want to leave the children with her as you say you do.

As for marrying again: I am 53 and have been separated for five years. I would quite like a new relationship but to be honest the children come first. It''s not as if you (or I) had anyone in mind at the moment. Unfortunately the tone of your posts suggests that your children only come first up to a point - as far as they don''t interfere with the new life you think you deserve.

If you have, as you say, been ''alone'' for fourteen years, why did you have children with your wife in the first place? And if they really both want to live with you, why don''t you take steps to make that possible?

Best wishes,
SAdie
The topic has been locked.
  • Palermo
  • Palermo's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
29 Apr 12 #327244 by Palermo
Reply from Palermo
sillywoman wrote:

As a father (and husband) do you not feel any responsibility in ensuring your family are housed, or do you expect the government to take care of that?


I have housed them their entire lives and if/when she screws up and doesn''t pay the bills and we lose the house, how exactly am I going to do that?
The topic has been locked.
Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11