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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


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  • Palermo
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29 Apr 12 #327296 by Palermo
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Years ago I spoke to doctors, midwives, CAB everyone I could think of regarding the bullying and verbal abuse, I got the same answer i.e. she needs help but unless she is willing to do something about it herself there is nothing either they or I could do. I haven''t even scratched the surface, nor want to revisit it again. If there was a chance of getting custody of the children I would have explored that possibility when I actually had money now I don''t so how exactly am I going to become the PWC?
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  • Camelia
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29 Apr 12 #327299 by Camelia
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You don''t need money to be a PWC.

Plenty of single parents work, study and raise children. There are benefits in place to facilitate this, albeit not generous.

My income is well below the national average, yet I manage as do millions of others.
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29 Apr 12 #327301 by Palermo
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Camelia wrote:

Yes I agree and apologies if I appear a little ''short'' !

Might I also gently suggest that new posters be mindful of asking a question if they aren''t prepared to get an answer they don''t like ! See Palermo''s response to being told he is unlikely to get a 50% equity split !


Call me naive but all this came as something of a shock. My solicitors told me they would be seeking a 50-50 split, they didn''t say you''ve got fook all chance of getting that nor did they say it''s more likely your wife will get the house and you''ll get kicked out without a penny nor would see any for at least 10 years. So in answer to your earlier question, that''s why I came here. At least I have a better understanding of the situation.
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29 Apr 12 #327302 by Camelia
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Palermo wrote:

Years ago I spoke to doctors, midwives, CAB everyone I could think of regarding the bullying and verbal abuse, I got the same answer i.e. she needs help but unless she is willing to do something about it herself there is nothing either they or I could do. I haven''t even scratched the surface, nor want to revisit it again. If there was a chance of getting custody of the children I would have explored that possibility when I actually had money now I don''t so how exactly am I going to become the PWC?


If you were experiencing domestic abuse you could have reported her to the police. They now take DV perpetrated on the male much more seriously than before. You could have applied for a non-molestation order and Occupation order if the abuse was that bad.

I speak from experiencing DV, and self repped at several court hearings to obtain such orders.

I do not know why this was not suggested to you at the time.

If you children are at risk then you have a duty to mitigate this. Children''s Services within your local authority will be able give guidance on safeguarding issues.
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29 Apr 12 #327305 by Camelia
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Palermo wrote:

Camelia wrote:

Yes I agree and apologies if I appear a little ''short'' !

Might I also gently suggest that new posters be mindful of asking a question if they aren''t prepared to get an answer they don''t like ! See Palermo''s response to being told he is unlikely to get a 50% equity split !


Call me naive but all this came as something of a shock. My solicitors told me they would be seeking a 50-50 split, they didn''t say you''ve got fook all chance of getting that nor did they say it''s more likely your wife will get the house and you''ll get kicked out without a penny nor would see any for at least 10 years. So in answer to your earlier question, that''s why I came here. At least I have a better understanding of the situation.


My ex husband was also told he would get ''at least 50%'' of the equity in our house despite me being the PWC, the lower earner and having a life limiting disability.

His solicitor told him whatever he wanted to hear so as to keep extracting money out of him at a rate of £220 per hour plus barristers resulting in almost 14K of legal fees. She also told him I would have to pay his fees...of course that little carrot kept him gnawing away for at least another year !
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29 Apr 12 #327306 by Palermo
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I experienced verbal abuse. She tried to accost me once but found I wasn''t as easy to push around - I didn''t hit her, I restrained her. The kids experienced verbal abuse and used to experience physical abuse - when I couldn''t get there in time to stop her. I called someone from child services, they examined and interviewed the kids, there were no marks and that was the end of the matter. The physical abuse has more or less stopped since then.
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29 Apr 12 #327308 by pixy
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You do have a choice. Whilst it is true that the PWC is usually the mother, there are plenty of fathers who have become PWC. It''s a matter of compiling the evidence that would convince a court to rule in your favour. Your figures seem to sugges that you income and hers are similar so money shouldn''t affect your decision.

If you really want to be the carer then contact Families need Fathers and explore this site as well for advice about presenting your case in court.
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