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  • Skizzy
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29 Apr 12 #327173 by Skizzy
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I don''t think I indicated anywhere in my posts that I hadn''t or wasn''t accepting his decision, which is why I was a bit miffed at what was replied back to me.

  • stukadivebomber
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29 Apr 12 #327174 by stukadivebomber
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Hi Skiz

Lots of us can relate to the ''isolation'' scenario, in various ways.

Hope you''ve got some friends, &/or family that you can turn to.
If so, be prepared for them to react in different ways. People will surprise you, some good, some bad, we''re all different.

I believe wiki is a lifeline, if not a lifesaver.
Blog, chat, or carry on posting. If nothing else, it''s keeping you occupied.

The Divorce Bombshell is a great leveller & we''re all in it together, even if we''ve got differing perspectives.

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29 Apr 12 #327182 by Skizzy
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Hi Stukadivebomber. My main reason for coming here is because I don''t have anyone close by. This was suppose to be a very temp move, before me & ex were suppose to move to the other side of the country, so stupidly, I didn''t bother making friends here. My family live back in my hometown, which is a fair distance away. I''m pretty much stuck in bed most of the time, with nothing to do but think.

  • Palermo
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01 May 12 #327571 by Palermo
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Skizzy wrote:

Hi, I''m new here. I don''t usually do forums & I have a hard time airing my problems in public (so to speak) but I know I need some kind of support from somewhere & this seems like a good place to start?

Just over a month ago, on my birthday, my husband of 10 years told me he''d found someone else & wanted a divorce. Our situation has been complicated for 4 years, but right up until a week before he dropped his bomb we had been talking about our future & looking at properties. His decision came completely out the blue & I don''t seem to be coping very well with it. I''m very isolated where I live & can go days/weeks without talking to anyone. I''m facing eviction as well & I don''t know where to turn or how to deal with the emotional side of things.


Try writing down your feelings. When you find someone to talk to it will help. Join Twitter, Facebook, follow people who share your interests and hobbies. This will consume you if you let it and of course there is no point in trying to ignore what''s happened but you need to find a happy medium between thinking about your situation and keeping your mind occupied elsewhere. No one copes well at first, you''re not alone. I''m not going to say time heals all wounds because I think it''s patronising and I don''t think it does, I think there''s nothing worse than being lied to in a marriage and it''s unforgivable.

You need to do something about feeling isolated and the possibility of being evicted. The best place to start is the helpline.

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01 May 12 #327613 by Skizzy
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Thanks Palermo

I have found out that I can, as a last resort, go back to the marital home. Ex isn''t happy about that & said he would rather see me on the streets & my dogs rehomed, which was nice of him.

The thing that''s really getting to me at the moment is the crying. I''ve never been a cry type person, but at the moment I can''t seem to stop & the stupidest little things seem to set me off, is annoying as hell lol. I''ve been reading through the forum & I see that a lot of people still feel the pain months & even years down the line, that really scares me. I don''t want to be like that. I want to get this over with, get the divorce over & be done with it all. Is that even possible?

  • Marshy_
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01 May 12 #327618 by Marshy_
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Hi Skizzy..

Skizzy wrote:

I don''t want to be like that. I want to get this over with, get the divorce over & be done with it all. Is that even possible?


None of us wants to be unhappy or be upset. But what is happening to you is normal. We have all been where you are right now. You may feel betrayed and used and abused. He has left you without family and friends close by. Choice guy right? I am sorry that you maybe offended by me dissing him. But many (including me) will think the same. This is not how you treat someone you love.

I must say, that some people do make life changing decisions in a flash. But is this good? Is this what you want from a partner? I am not telling you what to think and feel.

Lastly. Try and eat. I know you said that you didnt eat well for 8 days. This will do you no good at all. Even with yr condition. Not eating will put a huge strain on you. And you wont cope well with no food inside you. So may I suggest that you eat properly. Also, try and rest. You have a huge mountain to climb. This is perhaps the hardest thing you will ever do. You need to be strong to do what needs to be done during the weeks and months to come.

We dont all say the same things and we all have different experiences. But one thing we all have in common is support. And if that what you need. You have come to the right place. But consider what others say. And you wont always hear what you want to hear. Thats just the way it is. C.

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01 May 12 #327627 by Crumpled
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Hi Skizzy I am so sorry you have had to post and here and it must have been such a horrible experience for your husband to have told you about his affair especially on your Birthday.
I can only really to add what others have said so first of all i know this will be very difficult try and eat.When I found out about my husbands affair i couldnt eat or get out of bed and cried at the drop of a hat over anything and I am the same as you not a crier...in fact one of the saddest things in all this was when my 18 year old told me she had never in her life seen me cry before this happened
What you are going through can be likened to a bereavement and you will go through various stages.I am not saying this will be easy but it does very slowly get better.I am a year down the line now and i think i have hit the stage where i have more good than bad days .
Try and focus on practical stuff and please keep posting on here I personally have found it to be such a lifeline because there are so many of us experiencing the same thing and we can support each other because we do understand how you are feeling as we have been there ourselves.

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