My husband and i have not got on for over four years now. We saw a councillor last year and it helped for a while until H made a complete u-turn and decided he didn''t care.
We''re constantly arguing over the fact that he doesn''t enjoy doing anything as a couple anymore.
i''m completely overwhelmed at the idea of starting divorce procedures. My h will not talk about it, nor about how we could improve our relationship either. I asked that we try leaving apart for a while but he will not discuss it. we have a 4 year and i know he will fight for full custody. I recently quit my job to start a new business and have no income at the moment. I''m
scared i will lose my daughter in the process if i can''t pay the mortgage or the rent.
mediation might be a way forward if your husband would agree to go. A mediator would help you go through the finances and arrangements so that a way forward can be found that works for everyone. Otherwise if your husband won''t negotiate or mediate you will need to get the ball rolling by applying for the divorce.
The divorce itself isn''t too complicated to do yourself if you are prepared to do some research and form filling. The form, D8, notes and list of court fees (EX50) are available to download from the Ministry of Justice website.
The finances are more tricky. In a nutshell any assets (including pensions) held in joint or sole names forms the matrimonial "pot" which is shared according to a checklist of factors in s25 Matrimonial Causes act 1973. The priority is the welfare of children and in many cases the needs of both spouses, particularly for housing, are at the top of the list or near the top.
A good starting point is to find out what state help you will be entitled to - checkout www.entitledto.co.uk
Then it is a question of researching local property prices and both parties mortgage rising capabilities. If the matrimonial home is bigger than required it may need to be sold to release equity to enable both parties to rehouse. If your child is to live with you and your mortgage raising capacity is less than your husband''s you may require a larger share of the family assets to leave you on a similar financial footing (not necessarily 50:50) as your husband.
In the UK "custody" and "access" were replaced with "residence" and "contact" some years ago. Above all arrangements for children need to be practical. If you have both worked and shared child care equally before separation is there any reason why you couldn''t share residence with your daughter living with both of you some of the time?