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Not new but back

  • Carole_previousMARGARET1
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02 May 12 #328018 by Carole_previousMARGARET1
Topic started by Carole_previousMARGARET1
Hi all

I havent been on wiki for some time but here I am back. Last time I was still in a very unhappy marriage of nearly 20 years and so scared to do anything about it.
2 months ago I finally did it. I asked my husband to leave. He did.
Now I am trying to maintain a home, a demanding full time job, parent a 19 year old who needs guidance, 2 cats, a dog etc etc.
I dont have much family - and they are 100 miles away and dont hear from them much. Too busy with work and family to ever make any real friends.So i have no suport system and no one to talk to.
Oh and forgot to say we are finaccilly in a terrible place too so the house will have to be sold and I cant see me ever having a real home ever again
I know I have to do this or I may as well give up on life but I feel like I am totally alone, have made a mess of my life, amd a failure and a worthless and pointless waste of space. The lonliness is so profound I feel its consuming me.
45 years old and whats the point of me.
I now know what despair is.
So sorry just needed to get this out.....

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02 May 12 #328022 by WhiteRose
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Hey Carole,

Please stop thinking this:

have made a mess of my life, and a failure and a worthless and pointless waste of space.


You have made an enormously brave move! You are lioness - strong and protecting your young.

Yes, things are hard, times are scary & tough, but you won''t crumble, no. Why? because you have us - no we can''t pop round to eat your hob nobs, but we are here for you!!

Take each situation individually, don''t get overwhelmed with the whole. Focus on one little manageable bit at a time.

You CAN do this, the first step is the hardest and you''ve already done it.

Right - first things first - you need some ''me'' time - even if its only 30 mins - run a bath maybe take a glass of something chilled with you and relax.

Big hugs

WR x

  • Canuck425
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02 May 12 #328025 by Canuck425
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ok, so you did something brave that you felt you needed to do. Good for you! I hope that was the first step of many in taking care of yourself!

The lonliness is so profound I feel its consuming me.


So what are you going to do about that? This is up to you and you alone. I have learned in the past year not to underestimate people. They can step up in the most amazing ways. I used to think I had no friends but I was wrong! 100 miles away for family is nothing! Get outside and connect with people. Commit to having more fun in your life. More joy. More passion.

People crave connection and it is possible to get out there and get the support you want and need. I know I found that just be being very specific with the people that were already in my life I was able to connect is a deeper and more meaningful way.

You can do this. Dust yourself off and make it happen!

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02 May 12 #328037 by Mitchum
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You''ve taken the biggest and bravest steps of all. You ended 20 unhappy years and you reached out to strangers who understand where you''re at and who will help and support you. Please never, never think of yourself as a waste of space again.

Goodness, you''re only 45! You have years of untapped happiness to catch up on!

You have to take some time to build up your circle of friends. Sounds easy but it actually takes a lot of courage to start reaching out to others and that''s another positive step you''ve taken. Even with your busy life you can start by popping into Chat for a short time each evening and meet people who are in the same situation as you.

I think some serious pampering is called for to restore your self-esteem!

  • stukadivebomber
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02 May 12 #328060 by stukadivebomber
Reply from stukadivebomber
Welcome back:(

Lots of us are on wiki because we don''t have support systems, or real people that we can vent & talk to.
Making new friends is bloody hard when you''re not having your life turned inside out.
Don''t diss your pets, & don''t apologise to us for ranting.

Divorce seems to have massacred my grammatical prowess, too;) I already knew I was having a bad week:lol:

  • leftwondering
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03 May 12 #328098 by leftwondering
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stukka,
this year you are gonna meet a great guy who loves you and always wants to be with you.
it will happen wait and see...

LW

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03 May 12 #328153 by stukadivebomber
Reply from stukadivebomber
leftwondering wrote:

stukka,
this year you are gonna meet a great guy who loves you and always wants to be with you.
it will happen wait and see...

LW


erm, I''d rather meet a great girl...:dry:


I know I said I''d try ''anything'' once, but might need to retract that comment:laugh:

actually, I have met some great wikigirls;)

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