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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Help! don''t know which way to turn

  • Marie_0208
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18 May 12 #331475 by Marie_0208
Topic started by Marie_0208
Married 22 yrs
I''m 46, no pension
him 48, no pension
house worth approx 90 000
mortgage 42 500
secured loan on house 28 000
interest only mortgage and no endowment
I''m not working as am full time carer for mum and brother getting 58.00 per week
him company director, not sure of his income (it''s complicated) and company in deep trouble.
He is an alcoholic and we have not slept in the same bedroom for about 6 or 7 years.
He is out every night and comes back drunk and is incontinent at night through the drink.
He is very controlling and refuses to accept that the marriage is over. He keeps telling me that I will not be able to afford or manage to be on my own.
I''ve asked him to leave and he goes for 1 or 2 days and just comes back. I am at my wits end as to what my rights are, where to turn or what action to take first. It is completely draining me emotionally and need any help or advice I can get.
He said if he leaves he will pay me 200 per week for my youngest child but all other bills and mortgage etc will be left to me to sort out apart from the secured loan. wWe have a joint bank account and he does not want to close it as he wants to keep the overdraft and is worried he will lose it when opening the account in his name only. I have opened a bank account of my own at another bank but am now stuck on the joint account.Any advice greatly appreciated.

  • Lostboy67
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18 May 12 #331478 by Lostboy67
Reply from Lostboy67
Hi
Welcome to wiki but sorry you find yourself here.
Although you can ask him to leave he is under no obligation to do so, and infact the advice he should be given is not to.
In terms of what he gives you his child maintenance will be 15% of his net salary (although this may be changing soon) In terms of Spousal maintenance its difficult to say what would happen, a lot would depend on his salary and ability to pay.

LB

  • sun flower
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18 May 12 #331479 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
Others will give practical advice. They are much more informed than I am. But I just wanted to say if you have coped with all you have coped with for all this time - it may be a bumpy ride - but you sound like a very capable lady. Good luck.

  • NoWhereToTurnl
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18 May 12 #331481 by NoWhereToTurnl
Reply from NoWhereToTurnl
As Scary said, well done for coping for the last 6 years.

I am no expert and from the information you have given it will be difficult for the more experienced on here to advise you.

1) have you any dependant children.
2) the disabilities of your mother and brother.
3) Do your mother and brother live with you.
4) If not do they own the accommodation they live in.

It would appear, from information you have given, that you could be considered for legal aid. He is ruling your life and bullying you into doing what he wants, you deserve better.

Please look at the top right hand corner of this web site, the 0800 number, give them a call, its free and might give you the strength to make a new life.

Very best wishes, hugs and luck x

  • sim5355
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18 May 12 #331482 by sim5355
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hi! if you cannot take anymore then my first step would be to go to a solicitor most are free for a half hour.

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18 May 12 #331483 by sim5355
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hi meant to say first half hour

  • Bjc67
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18 May 12 #331489 by Bjc67
Reply from Bjc67
Hi Marie
I cannot offer any practical advice to your somewhat complex situation, but all I will say is that my raging alcoholic wife left me just 5 weeks ago so I fully empathise with you. It is indeed an horrendous lifestyle when they are around and my journey in sorting out the finances/divorce are only just beginning.
I am sure there are many more Wikis on here that can give the advice you need but as other previous posts have said, you can get half an hour free with some solicitors.
May I wish you well and I am only just beginning to think we are in fact better off without them, hard as it is right now

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