Married 22 yrs
I''m 46, no pension
him 48, no pension
house worth approx 90 000
mortgage 42 500
secured loan on house 28 000
interest only mortgage and no endowment
I''m not working as am full time carer for mum and brother getting 58.00 per week
him company director, not sure of his income (it''s complicated) and company in deep trouble.
He is an alcoholic and we have not slept in the same bedroom for about 6 or 7 years.
He is out every night and comes back drunk and is incontinent at night through the drink.
He is very controlling and refuses to accept that the marriage is over. He keeps telling me that I will not be able to afford or manage to be on my own.
I''ve asked him to leave and he goes for 1 or 2 days and just comes back. I am at my wits end as to what my rights are, where to turn or what action to take first. It is completely draining me emotionally and need any help or advice I can get.
He said if he leaves he will pay me 200 per week for my youngest child but all other bills and mortgage etc will be left to me to sort out apart from the secured loan. wWe have a joint bank account and he does not want to close it as he wants to keep the overdraft and is worried he will lose it when opening the account in his name only. I have opened a bank account of my own at another bank but am now stuck on the joint account.Any advice greatly appreciated.
Welcome to wiki but sorry you find yourself here.
Although you can ask him to leave he is under no obligation to do so, and infact the advice he should be given is not to.
In terms of what he gives you his child maintenance will be 15% of his net salary (although this may be changing soon) In terms of Spousal maintenance its difficult to say what would happen, a lot would depend on his salary and ability to pay.
Others will give practical advice. They are much more informed than I am. But I just wanted to say if you have coped with all you have coped with for all this time - it may be a bumpy ride - but you sound like a very capable lady. Good luck.
I cannot offer any practical advice to your somewhat complex situation, but all I will say is that my raging alcoholic wife left me just 5 weeks ago so I fully empathise with you. It is indeed an horrendous lifestyle when they are around and my journey in sorting out the finances/divorce are only just beginning.
I am sure there are many more Wikis on here that can give the advice you need but as other previous posts have said, you can get half an hour free with some solicitors.
May I wish you well and I am only just beginning to think we are in fact better off without them, hard as it is right now