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Young & Single Again - Divorced at 23

  • ringfingertanline
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02 Jun 12 #334708 by ringfingertanline
Topic started by ringfingertanline
My divorce is not typical, and probably came with a lot less mess than most of yours. For the fact that I had no children yet, I cannot explain how grateful I am. Though I know that if I did, I would not regret bringing them into this world and loving them as a single mom.

I remember finding out my husband cheated and feeling so completely and utterly alone in the world. I knew that people get cheated on all the time, but I just didn''t feel like I fit in anywhere. I was only 23 years old. We had just been married 4 months ago. Honeymooners don''t cheat. They are supposed to be in love.

I didn''t reach out to any forums like this, because I was embarrassed. I thought that maybe my marriage had failed so soon because of something I did. I couldn''t even make it last six months.

Almost 10 months later, I''ve been through quite the whirlwind. I am single again, dating again, and have almost completely tapered off my antidepressants. Overall, it''s an upward trend.

The outlet that has helped me most through this emotional time is my blog. I started it to chronicle my journey back from young divorce in hopes that other 20-somethings wouldn''t feel so alone. It''s the only place I can make light of the situation, and talk about the serious issues in the same place.

Since I started, I''ve really found a lot of people going through similar things. It''s amazing the effect you can have just by sharing your story. I love hearing other people''s journey, because it lets me know I was never alone.

If there are any 20-somethings just starting out in their journey, know that you''re not either. I promise there are more of us out there. It''s a weird situation with plenty of ups and downs, but it gets better.

To happiness for all of us.

  • maisymoos
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02 Jun 12 #334766 by maisymoos
Reply from maisymoos
Hi and welcome to wiki age is not of importance here we will will try and give our support. Unfortunately many of us here have experienced cheating ex''s , and we all recover at different rates. you can rest assured you will be happy again :):)But it can take time . When I found out my ex cheated I was adamant I would never trust anyone again, but I do?? You have started to make me think of a new forum posting about trust. Thank you.

  • Lostboy67
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02 Jun 12 #334770 by Lostboy67
Reply from Lostboy67
Welcome to wiki
The devistation of divorce has impacted all of us here, some quite ''senior'' and some like yourself quite young, the emotional damage is the same, your advantage if I can put it like that is that you have slightly more time to start again, but once bitten as they say.
You are getting off ADs which is great, I am just about to start that particular journey myself. I have a very dear friend who''s story is not disimilar to your own, divorced at 23, but now are nearly 30 she is with a new partner and a proud mum. The future is yours to take control of. What is passed is exactly that passed and can''t be changed, don''t ever believe that it was your fault your marriage failed, I also felt embarrased about the failure of my marriage (12 years) but I can hold my head up and say I did all I could and was the best I could be, perhaps not perfect but not the complete dead loss I am made out to be by my ex.

Take care


  • just dreaming
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03 Jun 12 #334918 by just dreaming
Reply from just dreaming
Well I guess my situation is quite similar . I also recently got divorced at 23 after just 8 months of marriage. It came as such a shock. It was only a month later that I finally discovered that she had been cheating throughout our relationship with affairs both before and after we got married (she wanted the divorce). It''s just amazing what some people think they can get away with for so long.

I had always thought I would be alone in having gone through this experience but it seems not. I have found that it helps to talk about things rather than to try and hold it all back which is what I was doing at the start. My friends are all understanding but its always difficult to know how to bring up the issue in conversation. I always worry what other people will think once they know.

It''s now been 9 months and nothing has really changed. I guess things can only get better from here although it still seems a long way off.

Wish you all the best

  • jslgb
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03 Jun 12 #334922 by jslgb
Reply from jslgb
Wow i thought i was virtually the only one!

My marriage ended at 25 just 8 months after we got married. I went through all the normal feelings and still have a few of them lingering. I''ve just started the divorce process after 18 months of separation. Its taken me that long to feel strong enough! I''m still quite embarrassed my marriage didnt work and the whole big white church wedding was for nothing but i do know now it was out of my control. Like just dreaming its hard to find people who understand. I''m at an age where all my friends are getting married and having children and i already did all of that and i''m now just left on the other side!! It doesnt help that my stbxh has been in a relationship with the woman he cheated on me with since he left and seems to be going strong! And we have a child together which means he wont ever be out of my life.

But 18 months on i can definitely see a change in me and more importantly my family and friends can too! But its nice to know theres more of ''us'' out there!!

  • Kittykatt
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14 Aug 12 #349528 by Kittykatt
Reply from Kittykatt
Hi guys

Just came across this post whilst browsing and it has really helped, I''m 29 married for 4 years, separated last October and at Nisi/finical stage of divorce, no children.

I agree it''s very hard to talk to friends (although I am very lucky to have great friends) but as you say they are all getting married and I feel like iv been there and done it already!

Good to know there are others out there!

K x

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