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How do yo see my situation?

  • Minmama
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05 Jun 12 #335145 by Minmama
Topic started by Minmama
Hi! I am all new here. I am very anxious about how the things would go with this divorce situation and wanted to get some advice. Known my husband for 14 years married for 6. Have 1 kid (2yo) 1 on the way (planned). He is UK national I am from non Hague convention country (far East).

My husband has been visiting prostitutes since I was 3 months pregnant with the first and been caught after once week after I found I was pregnant with the 2nd. So he was hiding about this for a long time and would have exposed me to all sorts of STD risks.

Turned out his alcoholism and drug addiction is quite severe, he spent almost £4000 in a night (including the £2000 in prostitutes). He has been in a voluntary therapy for a month, but he has been drinking since the age of 12. Also has a history of being abused (niglect from his mother).

Been asking him for a divorce since last Sept 2011, but after every crisis talk he begs and crys saying he will improve and cut on his drinking etc and no change.

I have a lawyer and so has he. To my amazement he is asking for a reconciliation which is unbelievably thick skinned.

As much as UK court sees the importance of the both parenting right, how would the court see the balance of the risks he poses towards myself and my kid in future over the fact that child needs both parents? To me it does not make sense to let such a person near a child??? Having such person as a role model would be more detrimental surely? I don'' have my family here. Thinking of going home (non Hague Convention country )and I hope the court would see what I see...

  • amanda.northants
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07 Jun 12 #335599 by amanda.northants
Reply from amanda.northants
unless he has ever hurt the children then the courts are likely to let him see them.

and rightly so, it can cause more damage to children to not see there dad - they will make there own minds up one day.

mediation may help you to learn to communicate together, but do seek help.

  • Lostboy67
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07 Jun 12 #335608 by Lostboy67
Reply from Lostboy67
As far as I am aware the courts don''t look for ''perfect'' parents, and not many of us would claim that anyway, they are looking for good enough, that means that the child(ren) are looked after adequitly while in his care. The children have a right to contact with both parents. What risk does he present to you or the children?

If you plan to a return a non-hague country there is a chance that he''ll put in a PSO. I don''t know how the courts view this exactly but I would imagine that they are less relaxed about moving to a non-Hague country.


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