Hi, I am new at this, I have decided that I don''t want to go on with my marriage, I am fed up with being depressed all the time. I want a chance to move on in my life, rather than going through the same circle again and again.
My biggest worry is that my grounds for divorce might not be strong enough for unreasonable behaviour, and I might have to wait it out.
I''m sure someone will be along in a short while with some good legal advice!
As far as i''m aware unreasonable behaviour can be anything, no matter how silly it may sound to others. One example i have read on here has been that a spouse left their socks on the floor every day of the marriage! The reasons you choose are valid to you.
Hmmm, I just wrote one of these a few days ago. So here is a copy and paste from that posting...
Also, you mentioned being sick of being depressed or unhappy. Do you really think that ending a marriage will help with that?! Happiness comes from within you. That''s your job, no one else''s. No one can make you happy except you.
What are you doing to be happy? I have to say, from experience, that starting the divorce process is not the quickest path to happiness !
ok stop. Take a deep breath. Think.
When I read first posts like this I always want you to try to talk. Really talk. Do you think you have done that?
I am convinced that 95% of the population is asleep. THey plod through life putting one foot in front of the other. Going to work, providing for the family, raising kids, going to Costco, etc. Life''s busy. The passion goes away and there is no joy.
Have a real talk with your husband. See if you can wake him up. Make him understand that the marriage is over and see if you two want to build a new and better one. I hear it can happen! This will be a lot of work. I think if you both are working toward the same goal it can be done.
Do this before there are affairs, before it gets ugly, before there is screaming and bitterness. Take the lead and see if you can get him to be invested. Don''t do it for the kids or out of obligation. Do it for you. To see if you can build something awesome with someone that you have a lot invested in.
That is my advice. I wish that someone had woken me up years ago. Before it was much too late...
I feel that I have already gone through the process of talking and trying to save things so that we can move on together until I am blue in the face.
If he wanted to be with me he would have done something about it rather than just saying he does, but nothing changes and I feel like I am back at square one every time.
My biggest worry is that I have let this go on so long that the grounds of unreasonable behaviour have already passed their sell by date, and that I am going to be stuck in limbo forever.
Telling him that it was time to call it quits, and that I was not going to continue in the marriage was like a weight lifting from my chest. I have so many plans for the future, I and I can now see light at the end of the tunnel, if only I can get there.
The timeline factor is what is really bothering me, where should I post to attract the attention of someone who can give me an opinion on the grounds I have and how to proceed from here. I have something drafted that outlines the things I am talking about.