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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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hello!

  • bereft!
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20 Jun 12 #337883 by bereft!
Topic started by bereft!
Great site! Only just joined - now taking the plunge and getting round to divorcing - wish I''d commenced proceedings before the prerequisite need to attend mediation! Not being negative, but really not going to work for us - a very acrimonious split, sadly. Just upped and left me - not even a goodbye - I didn''t even know where he was until he walked back in, whereupon, I walked out! (there were other women involved, since had latterly been very secretive with his phone and I found the texts....)

I am going to go for Unreasonable Behaviour due to all the lies and deceit and the fact he bacmae verbally abusive when he was drunk, which was often.

I appreciate the onus is on me to prove, and it may be easier to do a non-contested based on two years sep, but no, UB is

I have no money for a sol, so am going to be self-repping, and will be going for AR. First question is, if you''d be so kind, what is the difference between an interim order and Maintenance Pending Suit? I am asking since I need him to give me some money asap ( he earns 5000 pcm, me 6,000 per annum, though will try to find a full time job to help with costs, but this is really going to take up lots of my time and I have to pay for mediation now too plus the court fees, as well as keep up with the mortgage! So anyway, does anyone know how long before MPS kicks in? or is it just heard at First Directions and backdated? Or would I be best off trying to do one of these interim orders that from my understanding could be payable immediately? Actually strike that, I have enough to last me until First Directions and I really don''t want to antogonise him - it will be bad enough having to see him at mediators: though I plan to arrange seperate meetings, there is still the aspect of the car park, and we are bound to meet! I just want to keep it as pleasant as poss until he gets the Petition.

Does anyone know if you can still preesent a Petition, before seeing the mediator, but arranging it for later? I think I will loose the upper hand if I have to wait for mediation first before putting application in!

Thanks all, and hope you are all doing ok, whatever stage you are at! Horrrible business all this, and this is only my first day!!!!!! he, he. Bye for now.

  • jslgb
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20 Jun 12 #337887 by jslgb
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Hello and welcome :-)

I cant answer your legal questions but i noticed something in your post. As far as i''m aware you do not need to prove unreasonable behaviour. You offer a minimum of 5 (i think) reasons why you found your ex''s behaviour unreasonable. These can be anything. In addition to not needing to prove these points, your ex doesnt have to accept them either. He can choose to agree to the divorce but dispute the reasons which would allow the divorce to go ahead. My split is also very acrimonious and mediation hasnt been mentioned to me yet although we did go last year over contact arrangements so i''m hoping this will count as we have no assets to argue over!

You''ve definitely come to the right place for both legal and emotional support and advice :-)

All the best x

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20 Jun 12 #337894 by bereft!
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Ah, well, thank you for that - my first ever reply! Cheers! Not quite sure I am posting back to you in right place, but had to say thanks for emailing. Most appreciated: yes, I know about the 5 things, its deciding which ones to cite - got a list as long as my arm, plus what the domestic violence and hospital admissions I can prove... for me, it''s more about cranking myself into the right mental space to take him on, for I know what he is like - been getting rid of assets for the last two years, so I can''t hang about much longer! Hope you are getting on ok, and thanks again.

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20 Jun 12 #337895 by jslgb
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No worries! And yes, you replied in the right place :-)
Someone who knows the legal side will be along shortly to answer your questions. I dont think its limited to 5 either!

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20 Jun 12 #337904 by bereft!
Reply from bereft!
LOL, yep, the judge will have a huge amount of additional pages to read by the time I''ve finished!! Thanks again, for your reply, and I would use your name, but I can''t see it! Just learning my way round the site! Hey, I amy even be adventurous and use a smiley! LOL:laugh:

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