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Lost my children

  • LUT2
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23 Jun 12 #338575 by LUT2
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Moved out of the matrimonial home 2 years ago and my son (14)refuses to talk to me. My daughter (15) was in contact but I rowed with my ex recently and now she refuses to talk to me. They are living mortgage free in my home and I''m living in a rented damp place and paying them 20% of my salary. I don''t earn that much! How does one move on?

  • hadenoughnow
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23 Jun 12 #338640 by hadenoughnow
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Welcome to Wiki. Sorry to hear about the problems with your children. Teenagers can be tricky at the best of times. The breakup of your marriage could not have come at a more difficult time. You cannot force them to be in contact but you can continue to show an interest in them through letters, cards etc. They will come round eventually.

As far as your living situation goes, are you actually divorced and do you have a financial settlement? If not, it would be a good idea to get on with it. You can get lots of advice here to help you.

Hadenoughnow

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23 Jun 12 #338653 by Marshy_
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I will have to second what hadenough said about teens. They are tricky at the best of times. They will not like you dissing there mum.

What I would do is this. Back off for now. Keep sending cards and presents for birthdays and xmas. In a couple of months try ringing. If they wont talk again, just back off for a month or so and try again.

A good dad is down for his kids in a way that he can shrug this sort of thing off. U have to be patient with them. Just keep plugging away and they will come round. You are dad and they know that. But dont diss there mum in front of them. They wont like that. And kids dont see things in the same way that parents do. We forget that sometimes. C.

  • LUT2
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24 Jun 12 #338827 by LUT2
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Thanks for the advice, but I''m Mum and I do my utmost to keep contact (gently). It works sometimes with my daughter but my son refuses to have anything to do with me - I might as well be dead.

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24 Jun 12 #338829 by LUT2
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24 Jun 12 #338833 by Marshy_
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LUT2 wrote:

Thanks for the advice, but I''m Mum and I do my utmost to keep contact (gently). It works sometimes with my daughter but my son refuses to have anything to do with me - I might as well be dead.


Hi Lut. Sorry I got this the wrong way round. But the advice still stands. Keep pluging away and you will break thru one day. Its unusual that kids go against mum. It does happen though. But its good news in a way that you are mum. Mums are solid. We can only ever have 1 mum and dads come and go and you can have lots of dads. But just the one mum. And for that reason, I believe you will get to have access to the kids again. C.

  • wmorris2
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25 Jun 12 #338850 by wmorris2
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In some cases with single dads it''s reversed.

In any case I hope you get what you want. I am jealous that you actually have any contact at all. So I hope from the bottom of my heart that it does work out for you.

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