I''ve recently split from my wife.
Following an extramarital relationship on my part I came clean and ended our marriage back in March and left the marital home
to live with my parents for a few weeks. I have now since then moved in with my new partner and we have a small flat in which we currently reside.
I have 2 children, one aged 4 and another who is 1 and they still live with their mother in the marital home.
My name is still on the title deeds and as such I am still paying for half of the mortgage of £300 per month. I am also paying maintenance for my children, which works out to be around £300 per month as well. The maintenance is not going through the CSA at the moment and is worked out using a calculator which appears to be about right. I have the kids every other weekend however in July, I have the kids for an entire week.
Do you think I am within my rights to withold 1 weeks payment on maintenance money given the fact I want to be able to do things with the kids that week and that she is taking £600 every month from my wage, it doesn''t give me much money to spend on my children? I know she clears a good wage (part time over £1200 per month and is also getting about £800 in tax credits, plus £120 in child benefit) so she is not in a poor financial position even before she gets the money I am giving as maintenance.
Also - I am having a bit of a difficult time with things around the dates and calendar events in the childrens lives with her. She asked me on friday to "have a think about when I wanted to see the children, as there needs to be some structure to their lives"
So I came up with a rotation up to the end of December which works so that I have the children every second weekend where possible, however taking into account weekends she has arrangements, I am happy to accommodate and take the children those weekends so she can have a social life.
That was all fine in principle however when it came to the subject of me taking my children to see my mum for her birthday (of which she is close to my parents) She wanted to be the one to take the kids over to see her for birthday and didn''t want to discuss it just now because it is further down the line. Well IMO, nothing will really change given the fact that if she wants to take them now, then she wont change her mind come December! I dont think this is really fair given the fact that it is my mum, not hers, and I should be allowed to celebrate some family events with my children without the ex wife being in the picture? Please stop me if I am being petty, or silly or stupid! But this is the way that I am feeling about the whole thing.
I am just confused in the bigger picture because in one breath she says she wants stability for the kids, and then in the next breath she says that she wants to be flexible and work out the dates with me, when she clearly said for me to come to her with dates?
If this isn''t going to work then I will have to pursue access through the courts, and to be honest, that is the last thing I want to do, but if it that is what is going to be done to get the dates that I believe are fair.....
Can any of you give me some advice to the situation. I have a solicitor at the moment, but she is about as useful as a chocolate teapot!