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Hello everyone

  • Stumpylad70
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03 Jul 12 #340873 by Stumpylad70
Topic started by Stumpylad70
Hi there,

Recently separated from my wife of 7 years. We had been together for about 9 years, and for 8 of those years all was good. Recently though things have been awful. She is blaming me, but I can see that there was huge fault on her side too, though she denies it.

Been separated about a month now. She walked out after I refused to leave as I had nowhere to go. She has family close by and friends etc. I just had no place to go, and told her that, then she walked taking my son, and leaving her son, my step son with me.

Its all a bit of a mess, and I am just waiting for the solicitors letter to arrive. I personally want to try and work things out, she doesnt. Hey ho.

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03 Jul 12 #340874 by rubytuesday
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Welcome to Wikivorce, Stumpy, although I''m sorry you have a need to be here.

Do you know where your son is, and why she chose to leave your step-son with you?

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03 Jul 12 #340875 by Stumpylad70
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At the moment my son is with her at her parents home. She is moving into a new place this friday, though she will not tell me where.

The main reason her son stayed is that he didnt want to move away. He wouldnt see his girlfriend (he is 15 and you know what theyre like at that age) and he would have to share a room with my son. He currenty has a one bunk Hilton in my house with all mod cons.

PLus I think she liked the idea of having someone watching what I am doing. She had accused me of being controling, which was utter tosh, and in fact she had been the one who controlled me in many ways.

After this week its probably going to become nasty. I can expect various demands from her which I am not going to be able to meet financially.

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03 Jul 12 #340876 by rubytuesday
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She can ask for the moon on a stick, but doesn''t mean she is going to get it ;)

When you get the letter, post again with what she is asking for, and we can help you from there.

Make sure you transfer the child benefit for your step-son from her name into yours, and then claim any tax credits you may be entitled to.

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03 Jul 12 #340881 by Stumpylad70
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To be honest its only been a month and he will be gone by the end of the week. I am not that petty.

What I am most concerned about is the mortgage. And child support payments. Its a joint mortgage, which I am paying. Half of which should be paid by her, though she never did.

That is what I mean by nasty. She will no doubt demand maintenance payments for my son. Which is fine, except it would break me financially. Its all a bit complex I am afraid, the lawyers would need to sort it all out.

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03 Jul 12 #340884 by rubytuesday
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Sorry, I was under the impression that he was actually living with you permanently.

Fiona has explained on your other post about paying the mortgage.

Paying CM is a given, there is no getting out of it, 15% of your net income is what would be expected.

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03 Jul 12 #340938 by Margot123
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Hello Stumpylad70,

Welcome and sorry to hear about your story. Even if he will be safe, not knowing where your son will be as of Friday must be an agonising thought.

No doubt you will receive great support here....I have only been registered about 24 hrs and people have been very kind and helpful already.

Good luck

C x

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