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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

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  • Nottheone
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12 Jul 12 #342803 by Nottheone
Topic started by Nottheone
I''ve been advised to come here by a friend. My husband walked out on the children and I 4 weeks ago stating that he just didn''t love me anymore and was depressed. Turns out he was moving in with a female work colleague although he claims it isn''t like that.

Everyone I know has reacted with shock and surprise - with the exception of MIL who keeps giving the impression that she thinks this is my fault.

  • alldone69
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12 Jul 12 #342806 by alldone69
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she probably does not want to see that her son is at fault, maybe he is depressed but it dont help the situation with him moving in with female colleague, i hope it dont be that there is more to this with this woman xx you will get all the support on here as much as you need, i know its hard but take your time and concentrate on one day at atime, its early days xxxxxxxxxxxx

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12 Jul 12 #342808 by Nottheone
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I didn''t see this coming.

In the week before he left he was talking about us having a third baby and booked a family holiday.

Yet he now says he wants nothing to do with me. I am just so shocked and hurt. I feel so mislead and manipulated.

And just can''t afford the £400 up front money solicitors want let alone the £2k minimum they have quoted.

I have been left with two small children to look after and the mess to clear up and he has just walked away from us all.

I just want it all over and done with.
ETA thank you for your welcome

  • Bobbinalong
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12 Jul 12 #342813 by Bobbinalong
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nottheone, start of a long road I am afraid, unless he has a turn around and you can pick the pieces up between you.
If not, you will no doubt read the stories that each of us have as we have embarked on the road to singleton...
However although life will hell and daunting just now, dont wory too much about sol''s fees and stuff quoted, you wont have to do too much for a while, no doubt too you will get legal aid if you need it.
Have a look around and find info, your first priority is to make sure there is money coming in for you to support the household and the kids.
Dont let him think he has walked away and thats it, he has a finacial obligation to his kids and you in the near future.

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12 Jul 12 #342815 by Nottheone
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Hiya Bobbinlong,

I possibly stupidly made it clear to him that we didn''t want him to leave and we still loved and would take him back. Unfortunately he then made it clear he is no longer attracted to me and no longer loves me and thought it would be best for the children if he leaves now.

I won''t get legal aid either I have been told.

  • Crumpled
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12 Jul 12 #342832 by Crumpled
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Hi i am so sorry you are having to post here but you will get lots of advice and support from all of us who are travelling along the same road as you.
I dont want to upset you but prepare yourself that he may be having an affair its just there is a pattern and unless he has had some sort of breakdown which is possible it sort of fits.
it might be worth seeing a counsellor your gp should be able to arrange this for you and a good one is worth their weight in gold and it might help you to talk things through with someone and help you make sense of this situation as things develop and give you strategies to cope.
also many solicitors will give you half hours free advice and if you plan your questions before you go you can get a lot out of it.there is also no reason why you cant go to more than one solicitor for a free half hour .
lots of love i am so sorry

  • Now Gone From Wiki
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12 Jul 12 #342834 by Now Gone From Wiki
Reply from Now Gone From Wiki
Hi,

So sorry to hear your news on this. I really do feel for you.

Have you explored Legal Aid? If you go to the CAB you will get advice on your eligibility. Alternatively, there is the Community Legal Advice Service that will be able to provide initial advice free of charge if you are eligible. The website you can find out more about this is: www.direct.gov.uk/en/Dl1/Directories/Use...tscontacts/DG_195356

You are probably still in shock after this very distressing set of events. Do ensure you visit your doctor who might be able to help with both advice, medication (depending on your own circumstances) and even a referral to psychotherapy if needed.

I am sure there are many other better qualified people who will advise you in due course on the site but you made the right choice by coming here!

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