Last week my husband went crazy and ended up smashing in my windows and doors and my 2 vehicles. He was arrested the 3rd time he came back to do more damage and is now out on bail but not staying here.
I am so confused, I have felt this building up over the last 2 months. He smokes ''weed'' during all his waking hours and has been acting very strangely, but the psychological assessment at the police station said he was ok.
I have been told he has gone back to his ex wife. We have been together 9 years and married nearly 5 years.
I have packed up his stuff and found information on divorce and solicitors hidden in a drawer.
I am worried about my house which is in my name as I was going through a council right to buy application before we lived together.
To be honest, I am worried about everything and my head is spinning as I never thought that this would happen to me in a million years.
I have no idea what to do and have been sat smoking cigarettes (which i gave up 10 years ago) for the last 5 days. I cant even go to work (and I run my own business)
Can anyone give me any advice please, I would be so grateful.
Well I am 42 and he is 51.
He has severe arthritis and I look after him. I come home from work a couple of times a day to prepare dinner etc. He gets Low Level Disability Allowance and Incapacity benefit around £550 a month all in. He doesn''t contribute to bills etc.
I earn around £20k a year to pay the mortgage and all bills. I owe 50k on the mortgage and its worth around 150k i guess.
We don''t have any pensions etc - we were going to sell up and leave the country at the end of this year, but obviously not now.
I own a business which has not been making money (apart from my wages) over the last 2 years - it has about £20k in the account; however, if the work does not get finished (and I am in no frame to do so) then the money will be refunded to customers, so there is nothing really.
One daughter works part-time and the other is unemployed.
Hope I haven''t waffled and I make sense?
Try and focus on your work your job is important. Is the 20k net or gross?
Housing needs will be the priority for you both, it seems at the moment both you are both housed. If he plans to move in permanently with his ex his housing needs would appear to be sorted, and in turn his outgoings reduced as there are two of them, does his ex work?
Has he raised the question of finances?
Don''t rush to do anything or panic I know this can be hard. At the moment you have one less mouth to feed and no longer have to fulfil the caring role, just sit tight and concentrate on looking after yourself now. Your ex has left the home that will work in your favour. The marriage is not long although cohabitation extends this.
Thanks for the reassurance, I really do appreciate it.
My wages - that''s 20k gross, believe it or not. The business went downhill over the last few years as i spend so much time caring for him.
Yes his ex works but she also has 4 kids under 18 and 3 are his.
He has said (in his madness whilst smashing up the vehicles) that he will take everything, so yes, he has mentioned finances.
I am going to the doctors tomorrow so that will be the more or less the first time out of the house in a week.
Thank you again