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He went crazy!

  • revenge
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21 Jul 12 #344473 by revenge
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I put all the photos and any personal things of my husbands in the loft. Anything at all that was to do with him is now out of sight along with my wedding and engagement rings. Taking my rings off 6 months after he left was the hardest thing to do.all he took with him over a period of 3weeks was his clothes.
Now 15 months on he''s asked me for a list of the household possession including utensils that was the final thing that made me realise he''s not the husband I''ve been with all these years.
He also asked for £2.75 a month towards an endowement of his due next year, the monthly payment is just over £5 and that''s from a man who earns over £10k a month. Now that''s petty!
I got AD 8 months after he left and have been to counselling i do believe it''s helped a little, but I think we all know it''s the letting go that''s the hard bit, especially when you truly love someone.
I find even now when I go to the supermarket I get tightness in my chest and a feeling of nausea a bit panicky, partly because I''m shopping for myself and partly because I see couples and that makes me think about my husband shopping with her.
I want wake up and find its all been a really bad dream and we''re back together having the life we planned.
Strange thing is months before my husband left I dreamt a couple of times that he said he''d met someone else and he was leaving me, I told him what I''d dreamt and I said I can''t believe how bad it had made me feel, and that was only a dream, he could have had the guts then to say he didn''t love me anymore and there was someone else even if it was only at the fancying stage.
My next step is selling the MH which is going to be very emotional for me as we did it as a self build and in the last few years it has been totally renovated, I believe this put a lot of pressure on us and partly were things started to go wrong. He works away and I was here overseeing all the work, so our weekends have been spent working on the house, now I''m here again on my own and will have to deal with my loss of privacy, estate agents and strangers telling me how beautiful the house is, while he has a relaxing new life.
To be honest I haven''t seen him for months he contacts me by email and that does to a certain degree make it easier, because when I have spoken to him I just hear my husbands voice and it makes me realise how much I want him.
I''d like him to see me because now everyone keeps telling me it''s the best I''ve looked for years and I seem like my old self.
I know that wouldn''t bring him back but he might realise what he has tossed aside.
We know we will never get back what as gone, yet that doesn''t stop us loving them, I am now starting to laugh more I have met new friends, got new clothes and now try to do new things. Also if friends ask me to go somewhere I say yes instead of no.
You will get strength to overcome this but I don''t think it will ever truly go away. Talk as much as you can to friends or here on wiki. Amongst people my friends and neighbours know I have met a lot of women who are in the same position and they are all share their feelings and talk about what they went through and it is a big help.
Look after yourself, smile at yourself in the mirror each morning and say actually IM LOOKING GOOD.
Take your time in what you do, I''ve taken my time with everything took a step back rather then acting on impulse, I still get palpatations occasionally, I don''t reply to my husband immediately as I would probably just agree to everything he says. Don''t get rid of things you might later wished you had kept just put them out of sight.
Ive been really tempted at times to get a removal van and take his possessions and furniture to her house and dump it on the drive as it certainly won''t fit in her house, maybe I''ll save that for when the finances are sorted!! I think I''m just starting to get angry.
I suppose there is nothing we can do about what has happened so we have to get through it the best we can, you will have days when you start to feel normal and then it''s back to square one.
Sorry for waffling I do this a lot I''m a bit of a talker, I truly hope you will try your best to get through this and give yourself little goals to achieve eac day, even if it is clearing a cupboard out.

  • headspinning
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24 Jul 12 #345001 by headspinning
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Reading that was emotional, its exactly what I am going through and it send shivers up and down my spine.
Its been 2 weeks now and I havent gone back to work or barely left the house.
I have put all the photos away and out of sight; it broke my heart and I miss him so much.
I cant take off my rings; I dont want to be single but saying that, I know my husband shows no remorse at the moment for anything he''s done.
Hes in denial or something; he called my sister last night and spoke as if he had done nothing wrong - he said we are both as stubborn as each other and he can smash up his own things (own things?) if he wants to. He is very confused as he also spoke about things that made no sense - my sister was silent most of the time as she was so shocked he called!!
He needs some psychiatric help, I am worried about him but know that I should be more worried about myself!
I am doing as you say today, I am going to go to cheer up, put on some nice clothes and try and sort my life out.
The car was towed away yesterday by the scrap merchants and I now have new double glazed windows.
I am not going to let this defeat me - things can only get better now :)

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