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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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He went crazy!

  • headspinning
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16 Jul 12 #343553 by headspinning
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What do you mean by " The marriage is not long although cohabitation extends this" by the way? Does the length of marriage make a difference to anything?
Thanks again x

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16 Jul 12 #343630 by hadenoughnow
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Length of marriage is a factor especially when there are no children between you. If the marriage is quite short, the rule of thumb is that each party takes out what they put in. Where cohabitation moves seamlessly to marriage, the whole length of the relationship can be counted.
This is not the only factor considered though. Have a look ay section 25 of the 1973 matrimonial causes act.

Hadenoughnow

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17 Jul 12 #343667 by headspinning
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Thank you for that, I will take a look x

My head is still spinning, its like a bad dream and I''m still trying to wake up!

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18 Jul 12 #343937 by headspinning
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My husband''s brother came last night to collect his things, and take them back to his ex-wife''s house, so yes - he has moved back there - I cant believe all this - you think it will never happen to you.

Devastated isn''t the word. Furthermore, I ventured out of the house yesterday and had my first ever panic attack in a busy shopping centre and ran out crying and breathless.

It just gets worse !!!

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18 Jul 12 #343964 by maisymoos
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Hi Head spinning

I do know how you feel and it is scary. Take each day at a time. Its a very hard place to be as many of us know. You will experience a whole array of emotions. This is very normal as is feeling confused and anxious. If you are very concerned about how you are coping it may be worth a visit to your GP, counselling can help too your GP should be able to make recommendations.

Take care

  • BrokenPromises
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18 Jul 12 #344053 by BrokenPromises
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Hi Head Spinning,

Really sorry that you are going through this. I really feel for you. Been where you are and it is a very scary and awful place.

However, you will get through this terrible ordeal and you will be OK. Please hang on to those thoughts. I didn''t think I would but I have, along with a lot of people on this site. We aren''t just saying these things - it is the truth.

Not sure how you feel about going to your GP - I wasn''t keen to be honest - but that was my personal choice. What I found very helpful was ''Rescue Remedy''. It is a spray or drops that you can take when you are feeling anxious and panicky. You can buy it from Tesco or any Health Shop. It is a yellow bottle and as I say comes in a spray or drops. Not a miracle cure by any means but did keep the panic attacks at bay. I still use it now occasionaly if I''m feeling stressed out or if I can''t sleep. Cetainly worth a try.

Look after yourself and please believe that this god awful situation will improve - not anytime soon I''m sorry to say - you have to feel all these horrible emotions, but it will get better. I promise.

Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself.

BP xx

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19 Jul 12 #344228 by headspinning
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Thanks so much for the comforting words. I have been to the GP and prescribed Diazepam (short-term he said) and bought the Rescue Remedy and some Night Kalms.

Im still staying in the house as it feels much better here. I have cleaned the house from top to bottom and thrown bags and bags of stuff out - a bit manic I guess but it has made me feel much lighter x

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