Just a quick introduction. Separated for 21 months, divorced for 1 year after a 24 year marriage / relationship. 3 kids aged 21, 17 and 15 whom all live with me permanently and whom have very little contact with my ex.. his choice.
My situation i think is pretty simple to sort... house sold (money held in a deposit account) and living in rented accommodation as ex will not agree a financial settlement.
After spending £6,000 in legal fees, £3000 deposit for rental property (naively thought it would be short term) my ex and his solicitor have parted company. i have been forced to put case in court.
All that needs deciding / agreeing is split of equity. Pension report has already been completed showing what split is required.
not interested in the money that he has syphoned off and hiding elsewhere.
i just want out!!
Anyone been in same situation which i believe is pretty simple? what was the outcome?? Any words of advice
This makes it look like i''ve had an easy time. I''ve not and maybe i should outline what i''ve gone through since i separated.
i asked my ex to leave after he came home one evening from work and threw a portable tv at me causing severe bruising. my son was sat at the side of me at the time. he then locked my son in the bathroom to try justify his actions. Police not involved as i had nowhere for my son to go and didnt want him to see his dad arrested.
told him to leave next day or i would take injunction out. he left two days later. from then on he has tried to make life difficult. I paid full mortgage for 19 months til house sold. have had to go to CSA for maintenance as he started messing about with money despite advice from his solicitors. Used to come into FMH everyday when i was at work, opening personal mail and going through house. July i decided to change locks as i no longer felt safe.
16 year old daughter was already going thru bad time in her life, wrong crowd etc.. when she decided to run away to her dads.
i never ever stopped contact. i wanted an contact order put in place but he wouldn''t agree to one possibly due to a new partner. he sees them approx once every two months for about an hour a time.
Anyway i''d had enough, booked holiday abroad with my son and left daughter and ex to it. Arrived back in country after two weeks at midnight. at 9am my daughter was home and has never gone back. contact minimal.
Sold house after threats, moved into rented. i now realise how poor advice from solicitor has been.
Ex will not come to an agreement unless i tell him my future intentions!!!!
anyway him and his solicitor have partied company so back to square one.
Decided to put into court myself and first appointment due Oct 2012.
Somehow althougth i think it should be easy to sort, don''t believe my ex will play ball.
But in all this, i have absolutely no regrets. It has taught my children a valuable lesson. they now realise what a good life they had / have and value each other so much more than they ever did. They are now extremely close.
Your childen are probably too old for a contact order, but should be seeing dad more. I hope that you would encourgage this and I dont know your situation but do your best to remain nuetral when it comes to ''dad''. What you vent in your own time to your mates is 150% ok just ensure the children are not part of it. I have always thought that teens have a harder time with separation and divorce as they have their own minds but boy are they easily influenced.
As for the other bits its a bit vague to give halfway good advice on. Have you lodged AR at court? how much is left in the marital pot?
do you work? does he?