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I found out today my wife wants a divorce

  • Darkskies
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13 Aug 12 #349235 by Darkskies
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HI there, i am 33 years old and my wife recently told me she is unhappy and has no idea why but she just cant cheer up. This morning when i went to see my two children i noticed she had taken off her wedding rings and was told she wants a divorce. Apparently i have done no wrong she loves me but is unhappy and sad and nothing i will do can change that. We have been together 7 years and married for 5. We have a daughter whos is 2 yrs old next month and we have a new born baby boy who has just turned 8 weeks old. I am now living with my father in which my step mom is dying of cancer, i lost my real mom less than a year ago to cancer and recently i had major surgery and have been off work a few months. To say the least this is the worst year of my life. And i haven''t a clue what to do. Any advice would be appreciated

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13 Aug 12 #349248 by JamesLondon
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Welcome to the club.

You will find a number of fathers on here with children aged 2 or under whose wives turn around after the birth and tell them to move out.

The 2nd child also seems to have more of an impact. With 1 child life is manageable and you can take it in turns with childcare and still have something of your old life. When the 2nd comes along you realise you are now a full time parent and your life is no longer yours.

Stick with it for now. Do as she asks and back off and give her space but be ready to help out when required.

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13 Aug 12 #349257 by Darkskies
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Thank you, everything you said is exactly correct. The problem is i''m finding it hard to back off the first few days were emotional, this morning especially. I know she needs space but she wants me to see the babies everyday i feel that i should give her space obviously its hard but at the same time i still want to see the babies. I think she may be suffering post natal depression.

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13 Aug 12 #349265 by QPRanger
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Darkskies wrote:

I think she may be suffering post natal depression.


Hello mate

I''m no expert but I think you are right. Has she been to see her doctor? If she is as miserable as you say then surely she would want to find out why and get better? If she hasn''t been then perhaps you can tactfully suggest she does so?

Also do you get on well with her family, eg any parents, brothers and sisters? You could perhaps speak to them and see if your wife has talked to them about things...

I feel for you: it sounds horrible but stick in there....

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13 Aug 12 #349268 by Darkskies
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Hmm not well enough to get them involved on my side. She just keeps saying she wants to be alone. She said she phoned the healthcare nurse but didn''t get an answer

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13 Aug 12 #349270 by QPRanger
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But you wouldn''t be asking them to take ''sides'': surely they would want whats best for your wife and kids, and that MAY be getting her better if she is depressed and not breaking up the family?

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13 Aug 12 #349272 by Darkskies
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i completely agree but i dont want to upset the apple cart and have her thinking everyone plotting behind her back.

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