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New to This. Scared, Lonely and Confused

  • james1807
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14 Aug 12 #349514 by james1807
Topic started by james1807
Hello everyone.

A year last April my wife or 23 years left me. She said she needed some time apart but thought she still loved me. Cutting an extremely long story short I discovered she''d moved in with another man and had been having affair with him for 2 years prior to her leaving. She''s left most of her possessions here and I haven''t seen or heard from her since last November

Anyway, I''ve been through hell and suffered severe depression and had to go to many couselling sessions. Just when things start to be looking up I received a letter from a court today stating that she is petitioning for divorce on the grounds on my unreasonable behaviour! No mention of her affair and alleging some untrue but cruel and hurtful things about me. Some of these amount to my word against her''s I suppose and the others are easy to disprove.

Clearly I now need some legal advice. I am though at a complete loss as to why she has done this. What possible motive can she have?

I know life is not fair. But all this sounds so unfair. She has the affair, betrays my trust, effectively abandons me to pay all the bills etc. and now she''s trying to blame me. Help!


  • soulruler
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14 Aug 12 #349518 by soulruler
Reply from soulruler
Hi and welcome to wiki. Sorry to hear what must be devestating news for you.

That aside these days life is moving to a non fault divorce and although I totally sympathise with the sequence of events as they have unfolded (you are not alone many of us have experienced similar) nothing else to do but take this on your chin for now.

Take care and keep watching and posting.

  • Now Gone From Wiki
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14 Aug 12 #349533 by Now Gone From Wiki
Reply from Now Gone From Wiki
The most important thing is to state clearly that although you agree to the divorce you do not agree to her reasons or the allegations made. By not denying the allegations in the Petition they could come back to haunt you later on as it will be assumed you accept them as true.

If you wanted to you could cross-petition her for adultery but I am not sure it would offer you much else than the sense of revenge. In the end it will waste your effort, money and life.

Take care my friend and use this site frequently.

  • MrsSadness
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14 Aug 12 #349559 by MrsSadness
Reply from MrsSadness
Yes, James - sorry to see you in here, and sense your pain..... as others have said. This site is am invaluable source of support and resources. Take care. Bye

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